Why emotional defense mechanism can hurt you…

I am all walled up.  We’ve all been hurt before, we’ve all experienced the pain of disappointment in relationships.  It’s hard for anyone not to develop a built-in emotional self-defense mechanism when you get hurt.  When someone hurts you, you immediately put the walls up.  But what you don’t realized is that you end up incorporating this walls into your daily lives and decision making without discerning whether it is applicable to the circumstances, the people you are interacting with and the situation.  I recently had a self realization of having these walls up c...more

If someone throws a stone at you, throw a loaf of bread to him... I know I'm healing. Why? I ...more

Nah.... It's nothing....

When my husband, Marc, and I settled into our hotel in Florida we heard several swishes, then a swoosh followed up by a loud thud. We didn’t give it much thought. We quickly put our clothes away and headed out to the patio where we enjoyed a bottle of wine and the sunset.  However, after we returned from dinner, again we heard, “Swish, SWISH, swoosh….BANG!” Then, we realized like clockwork, every fifteen minutes it was, “Swish, SWISH, swoosh….BANG!” Marc and I can sleep pretty much through anything, so we didn’t make a fuss....more

Rules of engagement

What makes a person care about another person? To become engaged with them? What a loaded verb the word engage is? To enter into conflct or battle; to offer; to bind; to deal with especially at length; to pledge oneself; to give attention to something; to come together and interlock; to attract or hold by influence or power;  to begin and carry on an enterprise or activity. There are a lot of emotions in that verb; negative and positive. There is a large amount of energy in that word. ENGAGE. Why do I talk about the word engage?...more

Caring for the Caregivers

I've been a caregiver since I was old enough to hold my baby sister. I was told that I would be just like my Aunt Rose - who was single and a nurse. My mother saw that loving, self-assured, bossy trait in me and expected me to help her out A LOT.  By the time I was a teenager I didn't want to be "little mommy me" so I flew the coop. Lets just say, I have never been very good at being told what to do.  I thought instead I wanted to be a psychologist. My parents didn't know what to do with that one....more

Pay It Forward Day!

  April 29, 2010 is "Pay It Forward Day" we all remember the sweet touching movie where the little boy did 3 good deeds for others in need. I think this is something that we should all be attempting to do as much as possible, and not need to be reminded of it each year. Don't get me wrong, I know plenty of you out there that are care givers and others who do good things all the time. For my caregivers friends, I think someone should pay it forward to you today to give you a break so you could take a day for yourself, you deserve it!...more

Haiti. I can't turn away.

I've been unable to write for the past few days. Everything I want to say about my life, my daily aggravations, how I'm trying to stretch and grow, who I am... It all feels frivolous and incredibly self-absorbed. Wherever I turn, the news of the catastrophic earthquake in Haiti calls out. And, what it says is this... You are blessed. You are incredibly blessed with your life, and what you have. What are you going to do with it? ...more

Hope with More: ‘In Their Own (Ovarian Cancer) Words’©

 September 16th, 2009       Author:  Sandi Pniauskas ...more

I'm A Mean Mom!!

I'm a "mean" mom. Yep. I am. And, guess what? That's okay with me! And, actually, even my children are glad I'm mean! Ask them - they'll tell you. But, they won't use the word "mean". They will say strict. ...more

The Greatest Adventure

The greatest adventure of a blondes' life is yet to be told but I can tell you of its beginning. Once upon a time... There was a not so young blonde with more accumulated wisdom, in the art of dating, than any one girl truly needed. She knew every story, every line, every ill fated sign of a doomed relationship. ...more

The Comfort of Friends

"Job Comforter" is typically used to describe friends people that are anything BUT comforters!!   The phrase is derived from the rants, raves and personal attacks on Job from his three friends and dominates much of the Book of Job.  These type of  "comforters" are known to offer pat answers to difficult questions, find fault(s) in the very one who is despairing, and frequently blame shift the difficulties onto the hurting one, or at best (worst), God.   But there's a requisite quality of those original friends that has diminished in our fast ...more