Where I was and how far I've come

Growing up was not easy, sadly, I remember things that no child should have to remember or be taunted by the evil of the world.  At the age of 4 I was molested by my mom's Father-in-law, I did not know what was going on but I knew that it was not right.  I never said anything because who would believe that?  My mom divorced her husband of a mere 10 months and he was ordered to pay child support....more

When Your Partner is A Survivor of Sexual Abuse

You stood in the middle of our bedroom, fully dressed, wearing the coat I bought you five years ago. As you shifted from foot to foot, rubbing your forehead, looking around the room and to me in the bed, I wondered what was inspiring the nervous dance.  I contemplated mentioning that next winter we should get you a new coat, because that would have been an easy thing to say.  Instead I said, “Hon, are you OK?”...more
 Sensitive but not sappy, dramatic and enthralling but not meolodramatic- just perfectly ...more

The Kingdom of Heaven Belongs to Such as These

In 2002, I was married, had two small children--ages two and four, lived in a beautiful suburb in northern California, and was a stay-at-home mom.  The executive salary of my husband afforded me the luxury to not only support my daughters’ development and the upkeep of our home, but also allowed me to delve into my own personal journey of healing from child sexual abuse.  It was a tricky time.  As my daughters grew into the ages I was when I was abused, I experienced agitation, nagging discomfort, and fear.  I did not allow the distress to obstruct my ability to parent, ...more
Novelist Mary Gordon, who isn't afraid to express criticism of the Catholic Church, wrote here ...more

Using Art to Heal from Child Sexual Abuse

         I am an artist and a survivor, and I have used many forms of art (as well as psychotherapy) in healing from my abuse. I now teach these techniques to survivors of child sexual abuse in retreats and workshops. Simple collage (magazine pictures or other images glued on to stiff board) is a wonderful tool. The trauma of abuse is so global in feeling and effect, that the collage provides us with a broad panorama in which to express ourselves....more
@SunbonnetSmart.com Dear Robin, Thanks for the encouragement. I am writing a book about healing ...more

Stranger-Danger Message Puts Kids at Risk of Abuse: Lessons from the Penn State Scandal

“There are perverts out there,” said an attorney in town to our local newspaper addressing the issue of an age limit policy on “toplessness” at our city’s pool. In a culture with as warped views on human sexuality as ours, I actually don’t question that there are perverts around. It’s just that in 90% of all instances of child sexual abuse, the abuser knows the child....more

An Open Letter to the Mothers of the Boys Assaulted by Jerry Sandusky *

To the mothers of the boys assaulted by Jerry Sandusky, First, I want to say I'm so sorry that your sons were used as entertainment for a sick man. I'm sorry for the pain they have suffered, and I'm sorry that it took so long for this situation to come to light. I'm sorry for all your pain and sadness, too. Sadly, I know your struggle. But I assure you that facing the devil and exposing this coverup will save other children and give you a strength you've never known was inside you....more
Oh Sara, thank you for being the strong wonderful mother you are. You and your family were all ...more

Penn State...And Why It Bothers Me So Deeply

As the mother of sexual abuse survivor, any story of children being molested turns my stomach and makes me feel just a "tiny bit" violent toward the perpetrators. The more I hear about the things that went on at Penn State, and the "cone of silence" that apparently dropped over the whole thing, the more I want to lash out at people....more

That is YOUR penis!

'That is your penis and no one else is allowed to touch it but you."'Not even a doctor?'"Well, a Doctor can touch it if it has an owie but you can always ask them to stop if you feel uncomfortable.""Not even you Mommy? Or Daddy?" "No, not even a mommy or a daddy, only if you need help if it is owie." ...more

The Birth of an Obsessive Compulsive

Regardless of whether you believe in "Nature" or "Nurture," I really didn't have a chance. My poor, sweet Grandpa Ralph had OCD, except back then nobody knew what it was so they thought he was just doing weird things because he was drunk. The truth is, he was drunk because he couldn't stop himself from doing weird things. I know this all too well. I spent my teens and early 20's drunk because alcohol is really good at drowning your obsessions and compulsions. How did I get to this point? ...more
You have a very brave heart! *hugs*more

When do you ever really know someone??? Some great actors out there!

Earlier this year our family was torn apart. Torn apart by child abuse. Sexual child abuse, by an aged maternal relative. My Grandfather. Emotions ran high, as well as tempers. Those poor Children, turns out there were 3 aged between 4 and 10 years all close relatives. My "grandad" was a pillar of the community or so we all thought. He was a beloved member of the church, always helping out with "babysitting" went off to areas of Europe as a missionary....more