Fork in the Road

I wistfully look at the life of single and childless people all of the time, as you well know by now. The grass, as they say, is always greener.  It's not just on television, through commercials like the one I described yesterday.  More pointed, in fact, is the glimpse I get into my friends' lives through Facebook and the like. So many of my childless friends seem to be having a ball, every single day.  I love living vicariously through them....more

Love is Delusion, Duh

My father has an old saying.  "Houses and spouses may come and go, but children will love you forever."  While this statement may be coming from a place of discreet cynicism on his part, its foundation - that the love between a parent and a child is limitless - attempts to explain the inexplicable. The bond between parent and child cannot be measured, scientifically or otherwise....more

How to Alienate Friends and Make People

When I first got pregnant, I realized I had no friends with babies.  Now that I have a baby, I sometimes feel like the only people I spend time with are other parents....more

A Real Friend

Do you have a real friend?  A friend close by with a kid close in age that you can call or visit with or without baby in tow?  They're hard to come by, and even harder to keep, but it's worth it to try.When I became a parent, I gradually lost most of my childless friends.  Sure, we still chat once in a blue moon.  One of us will make a point to write on the other's facebook wall or send a chain letter email every once and again.  Some of them would even stop by for dinner after my babies went down for the night, which used to be quite nice.  But it's ha...more

Musings on the Journey from Childless to Childfree

This is a great story about the journey from childless to childfree by Sarah Clark.* My life is a miracle, or so I’ve been told. And I agree, though not for the same reasons. I have a wonderful job, a loving husband, no debt, good savings, close family and friends, tolerably good mental health and a cat to dote on. In the world we live in, all that is pretty miraculous....more

The Interdependence of Parents and the Childfree

I love stories about people getting that there are contributions made in every family and community by the childfree, and the special role we have to play parents' and childrens' lives.  Siobhan Hannan, Australian counselor and psychotherapist is one such person.  Her recent piece on couldn't say it better....more


My house, one Thursday night, after putting the babies to sleep.  I'm sharing a bottle of wine with my husband when an internet article by a woman who does not know me assaults my way of life.  Polly Vernon begins her article for Marie Claire by essentially complaining that she has more work to do because a fellow coworker is out on maternity leave.  I understand where she is coming from when she says she bristled and acted in defense when some&nb...more

From Childless to Childfree

While I chose not to have kids, I have friends who have struggled with getting pregnant, and in talking with many childfree over the years, I've heard painful stories from those who traveled the road from being child"less" to living child"free" -- they have embraced not having children of their own and moved past (well almost anyway) the pain. How do they accept infertility?...more

Invisibility -- Seen it Lately?

"The minute you retire, it's as if you're invisible." I had to do a double-take when I read that sentence in an article about how difficult it is to get Stanford profs to make space for younger faculty. ...more