a picture is worth a thousand words? well here is the quarter that cost a thousand dollars. at a cheer event (where else?) an energetic, unsuspecting boy finds a quarter and places it in his mouth (where else?) because it seems like a fantastic idea....more
Do you ever know in advance just exactly what Complexes (Complices?) you are going to give your children? Like, are you a neat freak and you just know you are going to breed children who cannot go to sleep if their stuffed animals are out of place? Or maybe you are super stranger-danger-phobic, and you have instilled in your children a deep fear of all people, and they will assume that every person they pass is going to accost and torture and murder them?...more
If you die suddenly, do your kids know what to do? Mine wouldn't have, and as I saw everything starting to fade, all I could think was, they'll be here with me all day. Who will feed them? Who will explain this to them? I almost died last week. I almost choked to death. It wasn't the 'haha, you swallowed your water down the wrong pipe kind of choking,' either. Something full-on blocked my trachea. Thank God it was toast. ...more
I am thankful for 1 year molarsLast summer Poppet started on solid food. I remember it well. We had a bachelor friend over for dinner. I had made some baby cereal for lunch that I had put in the fridge. At dinner I pulled it out and gave Poppet a spoonful. She didn’t like it....more
What do you do when you're in your cubicle on the 12th floor, after everyone else in your office has gone home for the day and you are trying to suck air as if your life depended on it? You don't even know what just happened, only that you can't breathe.
As I sit in front of my computer, sucking on a Tootsie Pop, I accidentally inhale some orange flavored spit and my throat closes up. While panicking, I try hard to inhale through a pinprick-sized air hole in my throat, producing a weird sound that resembles radio static.
Kids are more resilient than they seem. I've seen preschoolers bounce off their heads on playgrounds and pop right back up, smiling while looking like Massive Headwound Harry. But sometimes they do stuff that terrifies even the most jaded parent. Like for instance, Black Domestic Goddess's story of her son swallowing a (gulp) QUARTER.
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