7 Ways to Overcome Insecurity

Insecurity is as common as a cold. So many of us wander through life saddled with the effects of damaging childhoods, traumatic relationships or events and subsequent personal shortcomings; all of which can burden us with a lifetime of endless self-doubt.7 Ways to Spot Insecurity1. Defensiveness - when a person feels he or she isn't equal to others, a common way to respond is by putting others down, and being easily offended....more

My Role of Rescuer - To My Drama-Addicted Family

I have been assigned the duty of rescuer, in my family. Well, I assigned myself that duty, I suppose. ...more

Cross Post: Sort of a Book Review/More Personal Experience - Perfect Daughters

I came across this book called, Perfect Daughters: Adult Daughters of Alcoholics about a year and a half ago…towards the beginning of my recovery. It’s a book that has been around for awhile and is written by Dr. Robert J. Ackerman. I thought the subject as well as the title was fascinating. The author explores the Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACA) phenomenon from the female perspective…or the perspective of being an adult daughter. In my own experience, one of the aspects of being an “adult daughter” is this need to be perfect while simultaneously feeling inadequate....more
I don't know if you are blogging anymore, but I just published a book about healing from abuse ...more

Cross Post: Love Drunk - Parental Abandonment

This week, I will focus on the “Who.” Who left you? Was it physical, or did the person leave through death or other circumstances, or was it intentional? I will begin my own personal journey with the source…my parents.As I mentioned before, I grew up with both parents, which is an awesome blessing that many people never have. I am very blessed. I have no doubt in my mind that my parents loved me. I am certain of this as an adult.  But as a child, parental love can be complicated to process, especially when you are sent mixed messages....more
 @michelewhitney Happy tears! I like happy tears...Much Love to you Michele!, Fondly, Robinmore

Reach out and touch someone

I was thinking the other day, as I was feeling sort of lonely in a faraway hotel room, how in CODA recovery (and just about any other healthy self/relationship book or program you can find out there right now) there is consistent teaching that we don't have to cling to others, we can allow others to be here or not be here, we can let go, and that's the healthiest thing.  And I get that.  I honestly get it, really really I do. ...more

Star Light, Star Bright

Originally posted at http://www.barnmaven.com I want so many things, big and small. Selfish things. Giving things. There are days I feel consumed by the wanting. The wishing that tomorrow could come today and I wouldn’t have to do right now any more. The wishing that the feeling I’m having at this very moment could be miraculously replaced by something that doesn’t feel so much like its choking me. Wishing doesn’t fix a damn thing....more

Life at the HOUSE of JOES - or - When it Comes to In-laws, Sometimes Divorce is the Only Way Out - 3

My ex-husband’s sister, Lamilla (aka “Lambchop”) is three years older than Joey. When she graduated from high school she decided to go to a college where she would be living in a dorm – a 2-hour drive from home. Big Joe, Derba and Joey drove her up to the school, where they helped her unpack and set up her room. Her roommate arrived and settled in, and the family bade their farewells and drove away. Around 11:00 that evening Lamilla phoned her parents in tears. “Please come pick me up....more

I Had Ambitions and Dreams; Then I Went to Jail for Domestic Violence

October was Domestic Violence Awareness month. My month for domestic violence awareness was September. It has been nine years since I was arrested for attempted murder. It has been nine years that I have lived with the choice of that fateful day, September 2, 2001. How do you go from a good girl who has never ever been in trouble other than a traffic ticket, to walking into a jail with your love's blood on your shirt? ...more
Me and my little sister did live through domestic violence. Seeing their fights and trying to do ...more

When Helping isn't Helping

This was originally posted at http://www.barnmaven.com/2010/10/when-helping-isnt-helping.html on October 25, 2010. I think its a given that dysfunctional relationships breed dysfunction.  Personality and past have a lot to do with the level of bad juju you start a relationship with, but the dynamics of the relationship develop over time and create lasting habits. I wasn't always codependent.  There were years and relationships in my life where I didn't take respons...more

Reparations

"I don't want to spend my whole life down on my knees Just fixing what I've broke." - Hem, The Pills Stopped Working from Funnel Cloud, 2006 What are your regrets in life? What are the things you did in your past that hurt another person that they either never forgave you for or for which you never made amends?  You know, the unresolved ones....more