What Not to Say When Friends Have Lost a Child

With luck, many of us will never have to confront that moment when we have to comfort a friend who has lost a child. But should that tragic moment come, it helps to know in advance that while nothing can take the pain away magically from such a shattering loss, there are some things you can say that for some folks will make the pain worse. ...more
16 years ago, I was pregnant with twins. I miscarried and one survived to full term. My husband ...more

Tough Holidays for Loved Ones: How to Help

I'm writing this post at the request of family members and friends who are having a difficult time this holiday season.  The holiday season is not joyful or easy for all.  Recognizing that fact can be the first step toward helping friends who find the Holidays a tough time. Last week, I took the time to talk to several friends who find the Holidays difficult.  In the process, I asked each what she and her family needed and how I could help to make this time of year easier.  They gave me several ideas on how to help. ...more

How to be there when someone's child dies -- Part II: The ongoing months

Last Friday I wrote about how to be a good friend to someone who has lost a child in the first few days and weeks after the loss. Thank you so much to those who left comments from their own experience with this agonizing grief. Every small detail can be huge in its impact. The central thing to understand about the grief for a child is that it doesn't ever vanish. Even the most severe edge of grief can linger far past what you might imagine. ...more
This is a wonderful article. It's hard for people to understand how much it still hurts even 7 ...more

How to be there when someone's child dies -- Part I: The first days

All grief differs. The loss of a mate is different from the loss of a parent. And how grief does or doesn't get handled depends on the person who is bereaved. But one thing is certain - the death of a child is among the most agonizing of all grief events. Much has been written for the parents. But little is written about what to do or not do as a friend or family member when someone you know or love loses a child. ...more
Perhaps this should be held until the second part of the grieving process, but I've found ...more