Control and the Birthing Process

I think it is so important to know how little control we have over the birth process, as birthing women and as doulas. It hurts a little every time to have this lesson driven home. I think there is a secret belief that if we do everything right, like provide the correct support, use the correct remedies, say the magic words, we will be granted with our clients' births going wonderfully. We go around wondering "why?" when an outcome is not as we'd wanted, and fall into the pattern of wondering if there was anything else we could have done....more

The "Can do no Right" Doula Blues

We have talked about the phenomenon of "doulas behaving badly". I have brought up a few things about doula work to try to help us be understood a little better by medical professionals. Now I wanna sing the blues. The truth is, more often than not, doulas who behave conscientiously still get their share of berating. It's true that those who behave badly can create or exacerbate prejudice for our work, but the reality remains that sometimes we're hated on sight simply because of who we are....more

Doulas Behaving Badly

My daughter Kayleigh came home a couple of days ago from her gym intensive class with some interesting information. She had been distance walking with a girl in her class who is a nursing student. It turns out she works in the Labour and Delivery unit at a hospital I practically live at. When my daughter told me her name, I was familiar with it. A nice girl, who always greets me with great friendliness. I enjoy working with her. So it was with mixed feelings when I heard from Kayleigh that this nursing student generally doesn't like doulas....more
This is a problem in Australia too - doulas performing things that only medically trained ...more

Timing Contractions: Throw Your Clocks out the Window

One of my pet peeves is the fact that the most widely used tool parents-to-be are taught to use to determine the progress of labour is the great "timing the contraction" ritual....more

Positions in Labour

When I meet people who are interested in working with me as a doula or childbirth educator, one of their burning questions is: "Are you going to teach me about positions to use in labour to make me more comfortable?"...more

Ow, Today Hurts "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -E.M. Forster...more

Wait.....seriously? I'm A Mom??

Well world....I'm finally a mom. Truly a scary thought. I never thought this would happen to me. I mean I have dreamed about becoming a mom since I was 5, literally. If you were to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was always: A MOM. See?...more

39 years old, pregnant with twins, contractions at 25 weeks. Exciting, no?

I'm 39 years old and 25 weeks pregnant with twin boys after IVF. My medical team tells me, "You're pregnant with twins, get used to the Emergency Room."  I find this no comfort at all, but in the space of 10 days I was there twice. This story is about my brush with preterm labor (which mercifully was NOT preterm labor) and a couple of near-serious f*$k-ups that happened, even with what I consider to be top medical care. Cross posted from my blog, *** ...more

Mamahood's Mama Advice

The best advice I've been given and taken....... 1. Go Natural if you can, child birth is a very painful but a beautiful process, you recover better when you don't use the epidural. I had my first two natural and with my third child used an epidural....which I was a little grateful for during the contractions but afterwards felt so much more pain, and needed more medicine too. With my fourth child I went natural and felt good and recovered well. ...more