Life After Divorce: Meet Bethany

Divorce is one of the most devastating things you could ever put yourself or your family through. The devastating effects and the toll it takes on you and the people closest to you leaves you emotionally, financially, and physically drained and grasping for what your next move should be. In the beginning, starting a new life can seem hopeless-futile. You know you should pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move forward, but most of the time you are left wondering what exactly does forward look like?...more

A Love Letter to My Son's Stepmom

When I learned you were going to be part of my son’s life, I couldn’t breathe.  I expected you to despise me, the ex-wife, in the way so many women do.  And I worried you’d see my little boy as a nuisance, someone to be tolerated because he was a reminder of me.  Would Connor annoy you when he had a tantrum or needed to be consoled?  When he spilled juice, would you be angry?  Young children affect vacation plans, dinners, quiet time.  Would you grow to resent him the way so many stepmoms do?  And would my little boy end-up broken and confused bec...more
Denise Thank you, Denise!  I really appreciate that you commented on my post. I really am ...more

Boundaries & Stepfamilies

image credit: www.steppingthrough.com.auNever underestimate the importance of boundaries.When you don't have them you end up either walking all over the people in your life or getting walked on. Savvy stepfamilies make sure neither of these happens in their homes!...more

Tricks or Treats? Coparenting and Hallowe'en

Your custody schedule probably contemplated all of the big holidays - but what about the small ones?Today I'm over at DivorcedMoms talking about my issues with scheduling Hallowe'en with the Goblin King!...more

Fun and Games: Co-Parenting and Extracurricular Activities

While our custody schedule has resulted in a lot less headaches since it was implemented, it does mean that I have the children on different days every week.  ...more

I Will Do Better Next Time

I've been blogging to help me to come to terms with my out of control co-parenting issues.  It was supposed to help me to hold my tongue with my ex - because I'd done all of my ranting here. But yesterday, I didn't do that. Yesterday, my daughter got sick at about four in the morning.  My ex took her to the hospital because she had a fever and he had no idea what to do....more

Disneyland Dad's Get a Bad Rap But Is It Really Avoidable?

I’M ONE OF THOSE "DISNEYLAND DADS" WHO DOESN’T GET TO SEE MY KIDS VERY OFTEN. WHY SHOULD I WASTE OUR PRECIOUS TIME ON HOMEWORK OR CHORES?photocreditDR. RUTHERFORD: I would suspect this may be a common feeling among divorced parents who share custody and don’t see their kids on a daily basis....more

A Girl Raising a Boy: What I Want for My Son

 I’m a girl whose raising a boy. He’s six now; I’m 34. How can I control the programming for a gender for which I hold no code?...more

What Lesbian Moms Want for Mother's Day: Divorce

Alright, maybe "want" is putting it a bit strongly. But "need," unfortunately, is an accurate term. Yes, love is love, and yes, parents are parents, and yes, all families are different. But let's get beyond the bumper stickers and look at the hard, cold facts. Legal marriage would put my partner and I in our proper tax bracket when filing together and save our kids oodles of money a year for the college fund.  The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) reports (pdf) that the average family of four, including two lesbian parents, will spend tens -- even hundreds -- of thousands of dollars more than identical families with opposite-sex parents raising the children to age 18. ...more

I can't compete with that New Mommy Smell

Yesterday, I wrote about the fact that my ex is now dating/planning to marry a woman I considered a friend. Last night, I figured out why it’s making me upset: ...more