Another Day

The day draws closer and I feel more and more despondent. Yes, I think that is a good word. Despondent. How else should one feel when you have to celebrate Mother's Day and the birthday of your angel baby, all within 3 days of each other? I should be planning a party. Full of balloons and presents and sugary-frosted cake. I should be wrapping up new toys for a toddler boy who giggles and drools. I should be snapping pictures of a toddler boy that makes the diaper-waddle his own....more

What Women Do When They're Unhappy or Stressed...

I'm interested to know what you do when you're unhappy or stressed or confused about life.Do you read a book, take a walk, punch a pillow, pray? I'm more one to brood or sulk, and I need to get out of this habit! I'm compiling a list and then doing a blog post on my findings later this month. Thank you in advance ladies!

I avoid everyone, decrankify with a good book, and eat chocolate. more

I think I've grown....

For some reason, today I've been rethinking what I've gone through over the last 2 years. From the moment that the developmental pediatrician told us that both Rachel and Simon were on the spectrum to me pushing for the votes for this blog to be recognized, what have I learned about myself? I was thinking about how much everything has both changed, and stayed the same. But I also started thinking about my own journey towards acceptance of my children's diagnosis. And realizing how much further I still have to go. ...more

5 Tips for Coping When Someone You Love Gets Angry About HAES

I had a very public Facebook exchange with my brother yesterday that was slightly startling. Why is it that people who believe that fat and health and mutually exclusive get so angry when you disagree? I mean, people who in most situations you can have a great conversation with even if you don't see eye-to-eye, see red if you challenge them on whether or not there is an obesity epidemic. So, how do you talk to someone you love who confronts you about your belief that you have the right to take up space without having death threats hurled at you?...more

If These Walls Could Talk

They would tell you about  a woman that is struggling to exist. As if just existing is the ultimate goal and not just a passing phase.  The walls would tell you that this woman is valiantly struggling with herself to put forth the effort needed to get up each day and make it through till nightfall, when she might find some respite from the nightmares that haunt her waking hours....more

Daniel Saved Me

Where would I be right now if I didn't have Daniel in my life 2 years ago? What did I do to deserve that (at the time) nearly 4-year old child? And how did he know what I needed him to do to keep me going at what was probably one of the hardest times of my life?...more

Six Months

Six months since you were born silently into this world. Six months. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday, other times it feels like it's been years. I didn't forget about this day, but I didn't dread it as much as the 13th's of previous months. I am sad and I miss you terribly, but this month the feelings of grief are not as heavy on my heart. ...more

10 Ways to Deal With Uncertain Future Anxiety

Over the past five years, I have gone through so many transitions, and many periods of time when I had no idea what was next.  This episode of uncertainty is a little more extreme than the others, and I thought it would be good to come up with a real plan for handling my Uncertain Future Anxiety (UFA.) 1.  Recall past experiences of UFA, not knowing how things would turn out, and review the ways in which everything really did turn out OK. ...more

I always love hearing from other expats, and their experiences generally prove that it turns out ...more

Depression: My Own Worst Enemy

It sneaked back in today, tickled my neck and when I went to itch the little bugger, the feeling clipped my fingers like a pair of shears: depression....more

Dream Analyzation

I recently experienced a dream that caused such an emotional reaction, there was no way I could ignore its demanding presence. Many dreams lack valuable meaning, they serve only as flashings of unconscious thoughts and hopes that may cause irritation or intense satisfaction. The most insignificant dream I have experienced was being chased through a zoo by a tiger, and although I was accompanied with the power of flight, the tiger was frequently catching and gnawing at me; I was absolutely too heavy to get very far....more