I believe in love at first sight. And I believe in destiny. I have no doubt that the uncommon practice of meant to be happens and happens to ordinary, unsuspecting people. If you love him, if he loves you, then you will be together. There is nothing that will stop it. Because it's bigger then our plans or our attempts to control our circumstances. There is nothing that stands in the way of what is meant to be. Fate is real....more

I Need My Public Face

We all know that face. The one we put on when we're not at home. The smiling happy face that portrays someone who is doing great.She has it all together. She's coping well with her loss and grief and disappointment. She's handling things with such dignity. She's going to be ok. Some days that face fits comfortably. Other days it just feels like one big lie. On those days I wish I could just rip it off and scream at the top of my lungs....more
I can only hold the public face for so long.  I still have moments when I'm not strong enough to ...more

What I Learned from Irene & Billy-Joe-Bob

Well.  We made it through Hurricane Irene.  Our city looks like a war zone.  The damage is horrendous.  Had no idea.  The university here has shut down. {Universities usually don't shut down--unless the chancellor can't walk across the street from his house to his office.}...more

The Horizon of a Hand

A friend of mine recently told me something beautiful that I simply must share. First, I'll set some context, which is to say I'll grumble a bit. ...more

Blogiversary #2

Yesterday marked the 2 year anniversary of when I started this blog.  I started it because I was having difficulty coping, in every possible way.  I asked for advice but it wasn't enough.  I read some books, but it wasn't enough.  I looked online.  And I became afraid.  So, I decided to add my voice to the fray.  I didn't know who, if anyone, was ever going to see it.  But I would tell my story.  I would relate my experiences.  I would try to educate others. ...more

Another Day

The day draws closer and I feel more and more despondent. Yes, I think that is a good word. Despondent. How else should one feel when you have to celebrate Mother's Day and the birthday of your angel baby, all within 3 days of each other? I should be planning a party. Full of balloons and presents and sugary-frosted cake. I should be wrapping up new toys for a toddler boy who giggles and drools. I should be snapping pictures of a toddler boy that makes the diaper-waddle his own....more

What Women Do When They're Unhappy or Stressed...

I'm interested to know what you do when you're unhappy or stressed or confused about life.Do you read a book, take a walk, punch a pillow, pray? I'm more one to brood or sulk, and I need to get out of this habit! I'm compiling a list and then doing a blog post on my findings later this month. Thank you in advance ladies!

I avoid everyone, decrankify with a good book, and eat chocolate. more

I think I've grown....

For some reason, today I've been rethinking what I've gone through over the last 2 years. From the moment that the developmental pediatrician told us that both Rachel and Simon were on the spectrum to me pushing for the votes for this blog to be recognized, what have I learned about myself? I was thinking about how much everything has both changed, and stayed the same. But I also started thinking about my own journey towards acceptance of my children's diagnosis. And realizing how much further I still have to go. ...more

5 Tips for Coping When Someone You Love Gets Angry About HAES

I had a very public Facebook exchange with my brother yesterday that was slightly startling. Why is it that people who believe that fat and health and mutually exclusive get so angry when you disagree? I mean, people who in most situations you can have a great conversation with even if you don't see eye-to-eye, see red if you challenge them on whether or not there is an obesity epidemic. So, how do you talk to someone you love who confronts you about your belief that you have the right to take up space without having death threats hurled at you?...more

If These Walls Could Talk

They would tell you about  a woman that is struggling to exist. As if just existing is the ultimate goal and not just a passing phase.  The walls would tell you that this woman is valiantly struggling with herself to put forth the effort needed to get up each day and make it through till nightfall, when she might find some respite from the nightmares that haunt her waking hours....more