The New Stillness of Mothering

Parenting reveals how often you move or, more specifically how often you didn’t move before. Your understanding of motion and stillness is forever altered. You bring your baby home and there is constant motion -- scurrying for burp cloths, clanging about for gum gel, scrambling for a wipe. Then they are toddlers and your jerky movements are to swipe the lit candle from their reach, moving the cushion to break their fall, and swooping in to grab them before they actually kiss the back end of the strange dog. By the time grade school comes they are getting so fast that your movements are sometimes to keep up and other times it’s to hide the emotion when they say, “I’ve got it. I don’t need you, mama.”...more

the strength of liz

the strength of liz When Liz was in high school, sitting in a classroom, listening to her teacher lecture, she fainted. Right there, while resting her chin on a clinched fist. Unexpectedly, she lost consciousness. And no one even realized it, except for her friend who was sitting nearby. Before that, when she was in junior high, she took the annual pay for it yourself Washington D.C....more

27 and Counting

Happy Birthday Happy Birthday to my baby.  My sweet, beautiful and talented daughter.   ...more

I Shut My Eyes and Think of You

I'm pretty sure you’re the reason I'm afraid of heights. If I shut my eyes tight, I picture you flinging me in the air. I clutch the collar of your white dress shirt to keep from going too high. My wispy, almost-white, baby hair brushes the ceiling and I whimper. Gentle and close you gather me, make my chest flush with yours. You indent your fingers into a spot near my heart. Your beard tickles my neck and I feel the bones beneath your skin.             "There, there, honeypot," you say....more

What If?

How can this be commonplace? The giving away of my child to other countries, other cultures, another mother even, on the other side of the world.             It seems to get easier each time but really, it just takes me longer to get to what if. What if What if this is the last time I see you? Ever.             Why do you never glance back after you pass through the metal detector? From that far away you can’t see how damp my face is or hear my sobs....more

My Daughter and the Dick Cheney Challenge

Today, I'm regretting raising well informed clever children.As I was driving my daughters and my older daughter's boyfriend to the Avengers last night, I went on a political rant, which is typical for me.My family has been ignoring me for years. My daughter's boyfriend, comes from a prominent Republican family here in town. Quietly he asked, "how many books written by Republicans have you read?" I was impressed with this question for two reasons: he remembered that I read a lot and he had the guts to ask it. I want my children's special friends to be gutsy, but not too gutsy....more
 @@meganbroutian Thanks for stopping by and I love your comment! Do yourself a favor and keep ...more

Taking Away Mom's Keys: How Old Is Too Old to Drive?

For the interrogation, a lady with a clipboard asked politely if I would "step away" from the window so she could interrogate my mother about what happened when she drove her car into the wall of the carpet store. When she mistook the gas for the brake pedal. I sat on a bench -- just within earshot of my mother referring repeatedly to the brake as the "clutch." What she learned to drive on what, a good, 75 years ago? I wanted to pinch her. I could swear, above all the raucous of sorry waiting souls in this enormous DMV room, I could actually hear the mad scribbling of Clipboard Lady. "So you weren't driving a standard then." "What standard? I was driving my car." ...more
I had to take away my mother's keys when I discovered she had had her next door neighbor jump ...more


Our girl performing at The Hunt Club in Tulsa this past week!  We are so very proud of her.  Makes me get teary eyed to hear her sing and makes me think of my momma.  She would have loved this.  (Please the horrible recording as I was holding the little FLIP recording device.)...more

A Crying Dog

I have been up since 3 AM this morning.  I went to bed at a little after 10 and for some reason was jolted awake at 3.  Sometimes that happens and I can't explain it.  I suspect that it was the sound of Clayton crying.  A has been home for a week and this morning will head back to California, her other home.  She went out late last night to see an old friend that had just got to town and I knew she would be in late....more

Wordless Wednesday