Relentless Holiday Cheer

For many of us with bipolar disorder, the holidays are hard to get through. There is stress caused by family, shopping, entertaining, and crowds. Or the celebrations of others can bring loneliness, isolation, immobility, and despair. Above all, there is the relentless, overwhelming, mandatory cheerfulness, and the expectation that we should feel that way.As I write this, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. A bit over a week later is my birthday. Then comes Christmas. And, of course, New Year's Eve and Day....more

Sharing A Partner With The Black Dog Of Depression

As I adjusted my pillows to the centre of the bed, another night star-fishing in the middle, no one to fight over the duvet with, no snoring to disturb me, no one to turn to when I woke at 2,3 & 4am when my mind reminds me there was something, someone missing. ...more
Muminanutshell Wow, that is very moving. I am sure everyone can empathise, as this is more ...more

Which Way Is Out?

What do you get when you take two people, three doctors, eleven prescriptions, two pharmacies and an insurance company?No, wait – I'm not finished.THEN add another person, two banks, a credit card company, a missing check and a disputed charge.Mix in bipolar disorder, clinical depression, and several months of previous stress.What you get, first of all, is something that rhymes with buster-cluck, and then a dangerous situation: Two people under pressure, neither of whom can function well enough to find any solutions....more

It's Not You. It's My Anxiety and Depression.

On the extremely off chance that you ever see me out, just know that I am probably waiting for it to be over. If you acknowledge me, I will probably respond in a series of fragments I’m trying to pass off as small talk while I’m actually busy drowning in a sea of self-doubt. Does that sound melodramatic? Good. Because I am melodramatic. Public Domain Image via Pixabay ...more
I can definitely relate on ALL points.  I felt like I was reading this about myself.  Love your ...more

It Matters. YOU Matter.

Cross posted from

It Matters. YOU Matter.

Cross posted from

The Complex Simplicity of Mental Health Conditions on BoJack Horseman

Sometimes it’s comforting to escape my problems by watching someone else deal with the exact same problems as me on television. It’s like escapism meets masochism meets jealousy meets ridicule. I think television was what T. S. Eliot was really thinking about when he said that poetry is an escape from personality and emotion; however, the act of escaping often leads to immersion. Television does this through some sort of emotional voyeurism. But is it really voyeurism if I desperately want to see my own experiences represented by someone on a screen? I don’t want to just watch....more

Top five ways to get out of a funk

What is a funk? I have referenced this term for sadness since I was 18 years old. I remember having a mini spiral journal that said "fat lil notebook" on it. On my breaks at Coffee News, where I learned the fine art of foaming milk- I would scribble thoughts down about roommate drama, and crushed feelings while chain-smoking Camel Wides. An entry would start with, "I'm in a funk," and proceed with all the happenings in underground rave culture. At that time, I didn't have much insight into what that really meant, but felt a generalized feeling of unrest and dissatisfaction with life....more

Out of the Couch

A few weekends ago, my husband and I attempted (and accomplished) a Herculean task: we moved one couch to the road and another up the stairs....more

Please Wait for Me When Depression Makes Me Disconnect

I don't claim to speak on behalf of everyone who suffers from depression. It's a tremendously personal illness, and over the years I've noticed that those of us in the "depression camp" cope in very different ways. How we interact with our closest friends or partners is particular to each of us. Our reaction to those around us might be influenced by the nature of our illness (whether we also suffer from anxiety, for example) as well as the ways in which we've learned to cope (whether with the support of others or without). ...more
JennaHatfield Thanks Jenna!more