Las Vegas: high-speed city of debauchery, lights and excess. This is where I got married so, this being my life, it made perfect sense that I would happen to be here again, following a decision to get divorced.
One day a girl in love said to the man she loved: “I could write the kind of stories you like...”
“Do you really think so?” he answered.
The girl speaking was Anne Desclos, better known in French literary circles as the journalist and critic Dominique Aury, and the man was Jean Paulhan, director of the literary publication Nouvelle Revue Française. Paulhan didn't believe a woman could write erotica the way men wrote it.
I'm late for high tea at the Living Room. I always am nowadays, it seems, and not by choice. Traffic is fine, but the idea that people are waiting gives me a mild degree of angina.
“Do you mind if I smoke?” I ask the cab driver. Hovik, the card reads.
“No problem,” he responds in a thick accent. Well, thank God.
“Would you care for one?” I offer, extending the case toward him.
“I have, thank you,” he says.
I sit back and light my cigarette.
“What you do at hotel?” Hovik asks me.
So when I first saw the cover of the New York Times Magazine from the last weekend in January, with its picture of a stereotypically sexy woman lolling around, I rolled my eyes. "What Do Women Want?" I read aloud. "We want to be left alone! Stop throwing these hideous images at us! It makes us crazy! Or at least me! Because you know what?
“Did you know that 71 percent of guys would rather have great sex occasionally than not-so-hot sex all the time?” Simone asked me, paging through the February issue of Cosmopolitan.
“Let me see that,” I said, reaching out and scanning the cover of the magazine. “I'm writing an article about how to improve our sex lives.”
Simone turned a page, “well, if anyone can write that, it's you.”
“Actually...” I started, but I trailed off. The truth is that I need a guide more than anyone.
"'No man is an island,' the poet John Donne said. But we're becoming islands," my mother told my friend Parker and me on a lazy afternoon lounging on Waikiki Beach.
"As we search for people in our respective niche, we cut off others," she went on. "The internet has made it so easy to find people like us that we no longer know how to deal with anyone who isn't like us."
I am often faced with moving forward or looking backward and dealing with what’s behind me then move on to what I am supposed to do.
You probably have said to yourself, “When I get through this I am going to concentrate on me and do what I need to do for me!” Often you believe it when you say it. Often you believe it until the next crisis happens and then you say, “This always happens when I’m about to do something for me. As soon as I get through this I’m going to do this for me.”
Last week I wrote about how destructive the idea of hope can be. It fosters in us the idea that tomorrow will be somehow better, thereby giving us an escape from the present day, along with its joys and challenges.
Hope is closely connected to the idea of control. As we loosen our grip on one, we must loosen our grip on the other.
I think of you
in the day,
when the sun warms my legs,
as I lay in bed remembering
the feel of your skin on mine.
Like silk on cotton pillows,
velvet on leather couches,
smooth, so smooth, and heat
the only friction on my mind.
I feel you in my spine
as it arches in delight.
I feel you on my hands
like I’m holding spheres of light.
The ache inside
will never quell,
the numb soft hum
of memories swell
to fill my soul undeniably
with the power
The need that burns,
crackling and snapping,
threatening to consume
This first part comes from my experiment in not sweating the small stuff:
How many people actually want to be superachievers? What is a "superachiever"? I pondered these today while trying to be mindful of today's goal. If a superachiever heads a corporation, nonprofit, etc...I don't think that's for me. I don't want to be Oprah or Donald Trump or a lot of those people. I know his point is that you can do that sort of thing and still be gentle and relaxed, but that's not the life for me.
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