If you’re going through disordered eating recovery, I implore you to not focus on the weight.“Now it’s time to do the one thing I know you want to do the least,” she told me, looking me square in the eye. “You’re going to have to eat the food.”My heart started to race....more
Every time I sat down to eat, I gave myself an opportunity to experience compassion and stop my self-judgment. “I’ll have a bowl of oatmeal, and a side of three egg whites,” I told the waitress as I surveyed the multitude of pancakes, French toast, and omelets surrounding me accompanying dozens of happy brunchers.“Sure, I’ll have that right out,” said Chrissy, my more-than-bubbly waitress. As she started to turn to walk away, my heart started beating faster as I spontaneously decided that this would be a milestone moment for me. It was time....more
CW: This essay offers an in-depth look at my eating disorder. Please keep your own recovery and/or sensitivities in mind. Suffering is revered. Pain is praised. The more you endure, the more you are.I broke my leg the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once.I was running when it broke (or, more aptly, when I broke it).I didn’t fall. Nothing fell on me — it just broke....more
Diet is such an ugly word, isn't it? When I hear "diet", I think, "fad", as if it's just a short-term solution with no real sustainability. And I also think of suffering. Unfathomable human suffering.
Eating disorders affect five to ten million young and adult women and one million men in the U.S. What is a parent to do when we suspect our child may be exhibiting symptoms of disordered eating? Come to think of it -- what are symptoms of disordered eating? To answer these questions, I called up Liza Feilner, a licensed professional counselor and senior therapist at the Eating Recovery Center's Child and Adolescent Behavioral Hospital.
As I write this, I'm trying to sit through the very uncomfortable feeling of fullness that accompanies eating. Just trying to process the discomfort--which, in my case, is both physical and emotional--makes me realize that it's not only been a while since I've tried to sit with these feelings, but it's also been a while since I've blogged at all about my relationship with food, eating, and hunger....more
I had an epiphany yesterday: when I began blogging this past July, I was ready to dip my toes in the pool ... but I was still afraid to go for a lengthy swim.
I was nervous about how I'd be perceived by friends and family as I shared my deepest thoughts and fears with the blogosphere. I wanted to remain semi-anonymous; just "a 20-something struggling with disordered eating issues."
“Treat your body like a friend and your scale like a machine.”
What a great quote.
How often do we, as women, treat our bodies like enemies, berating them and chastising them … and then treating our scales — stupid machines!–like friends?
You know the drill: If we see a “good” number we’re happy. A “bad” number and we want to hit something or assume we got “fat” overnight or will gain it all back (we didn’t; we won’t).
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