As the New York Times article, Health Benefits Inspire Rush to Marry, or Divorce says (with an odd biblical reference to boot), "...money and matrimony have been linked since Genesis." Going into the article, my initial reaction to the story of people marrying and divorcing for health insurance was: Well, Duh.

I went with my offspring last night to see the movie "Wanted" with James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie, and Morgan Freeman. In it a young man is beaten repeatedly when he fails to give an acceptable response to the question "why are you here?"

The buzz heard round the blogosphere last week when the New York Times did a story called When the Ex Blogs, the Dirtiest Laundry Is Aired wasn’t so much a start of surprise as a nod of recognition.

Okay, so there was a period of time—maybe a few years—where I was convinced I’d never meet someone I’d want to spend a large chunk of my life with. In love or not, paired or single, the possibility of connecting with someone I’d both want to live with and plan a future with seemed just really, uh, remote. After all, hadn’t I already been married for 10,000 years and been through all the bonding and the compromises? Why on earth would I ever want to go through the trouble of trying to do that again?

In my three years as a single, I’ve learned that if I’m going get past the first few dates and actually start seeing someone, the next big milestone happens around six months. This is the point at which it’s clear, that while we get along, there are bigger questions to ask, like: “How closely does this person fit with what I think I want?” and “Do I know enough about this person’s strengths and weaknesses to really see him/her as they really are (in other words, without all that New Relationship Energy (NRE)?

This winter holiday season, I went home to a chilly Midwestern city with A, the man I’ve been seeing. We wanted to share Christmas and have me meet his family. About five days into the trip, we found ourselves going on a long drive at night, having one of those meaningful talks couples have when they’re discovering each other and themselves and there is still so much to talk through and negotiate.

We were drinking coffee and eating pie, post- matinee performance of Madame Butterfly, when the man I am seeing leaned over the table and said, “Let me ask you something—When you broke up with your ex-husband, did you stop loving him? Did you tell yourself you had to stop loving him?”

I am a divorced female with one adult child and one minor child. I have stories I could share about my first holiday without my minor child, my fears about what the ex's family might say to our child that might ruin his holiday experience, the questions he might have to answer that would make him uncomfortable. What do these worries illustrate except my family was dysfunctional before its legal break? Divorce didn't mess us up; we were already in trouble, and that's what I'm thinking about this holiday season: How much time do we spend during the holidays trying to manufacture Hallmark card moments when we know that our families are not Hallmark cards, that children sense desperation, and the best gift for the holidays is a peaceful spirit comfortable with itself?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. This year marks the 40th anniversary of the release of Aretha Franklin's iconic song. It seems like the perfect theme song for the posts in this week's law and media roundup. Here's a link to a you-tube clip you can listen to while surfing along with me. The Divorce Diva offers crucial information to help you get unhitched without becoming unhinged:

It's easy relationship advice these days:  The importance of Date Night to your long-term relationship or marriage.  Find a way to whisk the kids away, have a nice dinner, and viola!  Romance. But is it really that easy? "For a different kind of girl" finds it's not so simple in her post, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers?