My Open Letter to NFL Commissioner Goodell

     Dear Commissioner Goodell,In your press conference today, you mentioned over and over again the fact that you, and the NFL need help. Specifically, that you need expert advice on the organization's conduct policy.As a professional in student conduct, but really more so as a human being with basic where-with-all, my advice is simple:...more

Why I Stayed, Why I Left

' run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.' ~Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar...more

#WhyIStayed: The Details Are Just the Devils Here

 By now, we all know the story. Well, we know part of it at least. We know the chapter of the story revealed via a few moments of grainy elevator footage on a video released by TMZ. We know that Ray Rice once hit his fiancée so hard that it knocked her out cold....more
Thank you for sharing your story with us.more

Why doesn't she leave? Only she knows

This post was originally published in 2012, but is being revised and reposted because not much has changed in the world of victim-blaming since then. My thoughts are with Janay Rice and her daughter Rayven, both of whom are in even graver danger today than they were a few months ago. If I were the praying kind, my knees would be worn out for them. I love my feminist sisters and brothers, but they aren't perfect.  Feminists can be power trippers, backstabbers, and my-shit-don't-stinkers as much as any other segment of the human population....more
It's easy to misjudge what you don't understand. I can identify with the disbelief but it's only ...more

A New Line in the Sand

If you love someone and that someone often disappoints you, maybe hurts you, lets you down, wrecks your stuff, or gives you a black eye you can't explain to your boss, you are often compelled to draw a new line in the sand.This goes for parents who go cold on you, adult children who are addicted or mentally ill, friends whose extreme needs soak up all your energy, and lovers and husbands who compartmentalize their gentle and gentlemanly behavior in small cubes, an occasional sweetness on the tongue, so potent that you will forget what happened before and what will happen next....more

Denim Day NYC

Denim Day is an annual violence prevention day sponsored by the Los Angeles-based nonprofit Peace Over Violence. Denim Day  focuses on raising awareness about abuse and violence against women and children. Participants are encouraged to wear denim throughout the day.  Especially those who typically don't wear denim. This year I attended the New York awareness event held at Dasha Wellness & Spa. Attendees were decked in their cute denim outfits, ready to help a worthy cause. ...more

Silent Witness

Statistics reveal that one in four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. But what is rarely discussed is the impact that this has on children.  The silent witnesses who hear or witness violence against their mothers....more

Stalkers 101: When a Breakup Won't Break

Samoan helpline saves lives

On this Pacific island, where nearly half of all women report intimate partner violence, almost 2,000 calls have been received in the first five months of the Samoa Victim Support Group’s 24-Hour Help Line Service. ...more