The Grinch Mantra

When I notice how self obsessed I have become through my experience as a participant in the dance of domestic violence I am truly stunned. As a younger woman, innocent to many ills of society, including partner abuse, I was invested in creating peace, though in my natural exuberance I was a bit more like a tornado than a calming wind. Now as I bumble back to my authentic self it is not without sadness that I realize what I gave away, what was taken from me. I lost my belief in everything I thought about the world and myself....more

This is not how it was supposed to be

For 6 years, 6 long, long years, I fought and cried and suppressed my own needs and wants, and died a little inside every time I failed to make us happy. Thinking it was me that had the problem; I was selfish and a bitch.  After all, I wanted this. I actively sought out someone to make a life with, make a family with. ...more

#WomensLives, #MyLife and 50 Shades of Rolling my Eyes

Is “50 Shades of Grey” abusive?...more
While I am deeply sorry for why you have this perspective, I can't thank you enough for putting ...more

14 Red Flags of Domestic Violence

 Recently, someone close to me was attacked by her boyfriend. After the initial shock and disbelief, anger and sadness set it. How can you treat someone you love that way? Words can’t express how horrifying that is to me on every level. There is no excuse for laying a hand on a woman. You are not the exception because that is “not your style.” You hit a woman; you have anger issues, plain and simple. Maybe she overlooked the signs or maybe they were kept well hidden until the day he snapped. Regardless, he did snap and it was probably not the first time. If you can’t communicate what bigger issues are eating at you, and you let it fester until it comes out in a violent response, that is your issue. If you feel provoked, take a minute to respond versus flying off the handle and using your fists or another body part to “solve” the problem....more

The NFL's Steps Against Domestic Violence Aren't Enough

Whether you watched the Super Bowl for the game, for the commercials, for the halftime show, or perhaps not at all, chances are you saw or heard about the first anti-domestic violence commercial that aired during the big event. The commercial was sponsored by NO MORE in partnership with the NFL. It was placed among many other hard-hitting commercials that stood out in stark contrast to the normally comedic advertisements. If you missed it, you can watch the chilling video here: ...more

We Are the Other People

It only happens to other people. Other women. Mostly trashy ones. Mostly trashy ones that live in trailer parks. Mostly ones that have a bunch of baby-daddies. Mostly ones that have shitty teeth and shitty hair. Mostly ones that aren't smart. Mostly just the ones who have no self esteem and no future and think he's right when he says nobody's ever gonna love her but him. For sure they're not smart enough to leave that sonofabitch for what he does to her. She needs his money anyway. She's probably pregnant AGAIN.Maybe.Or not....more

We Are the Other People

It only happens to other people. Other women. Mostly trashy ones. Mostly trashy ones that live in trailer parks. Mostly ones that have a bunch of baby-daddies. Mostly ones that have shitty teeth and shitty hair. Mostly ones that aren't smart. Mostly just the ones who have no self esteem and no future and think he's right when he says nobody's ever gonna love her but him. For sure they're not smart enough to leave that sonofabitch for what he does to her. She needs his money anyway. She's probably pregnant AGAIN.Maybe.Or not....more

#WomensLives: A reflection of my experience with domestic violence

the topic of domestic violence has been weaved throughout my life since i was a little girl. it was something drifting in the air, before i even knew what that something was – and even now, as a 31 year old woman i barely give it a thought to what a monumental thing that i’ve personally witnessed in regards to domestic violence....more

New law spurs action, bringing protection to many

Cross-posted from UN Women A new law against domestic violence adopted in August in The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, coupled with efforts to promote the Istanbul Convention are giving new hope to survivors. ...more

My Square in the Domestic Violence Quilt

PART 1Thirty years ago, I sat all night on the sofa in my upper flat, smoking Benson & Hedges, with my mother's green and orange afghan wrapped around my shoulders, waiting for my addicted, unpredictable, and sometimes violent boyfriend to pull up in front of my house, get out of his car, and use the key I had given him by mistake to come in and kill us all....more