If Your Partner Treats You Badly

Do you live with someone who hurts you? Maybe your spouse or partner hits you. Maybe this person likes to twist your arm, pinch you, or pull your hair. Maybe he or she threatens violence as a way of controlling your behavior, preventing you from speaking your opinions or asking for what you want, or preventing you from leaving. Has this person shown you a knife or a gun in order to control you? Has he or she threatened to cripple or kill you? ...more

I Haven't Been Afraid of Anyone in 32 Years

The other day I emailed the director of a small domestic violence shelter to ask if she wanted some of the feminine hygiene products collected through Time of the Month Club, an annual donation drive I coordinate to collect tampons and pads for women who are homeless. There was extra left over after distribution to five local emergency shelters and because I'd seen this domestic violence shelter in the newspaper that morning, it occurred to me that they could possibly use some tampons and pads....more
J-MOM  I've thought about it but not thought about it, you know? When the shelter director made ...more

Why I Used To Hate Battered Women

 For years, whenever I’d hear of a woman standing by an abusive man, I’d wonder what bodies she’d helped him bury. I’d wonder what crimes she’d helped him conceal. I’d see her as an accomplice to misery, and not just her own. Every battered woman was a criminal in my eyes.It took me years to see that not every battered woman will “allow” her abuser to terrorize her children....more

Valerie, Shayley, Samantha, Sharon, Monique, Zina and Jitka

Valerie, Shayley, Samantha, Sharon, Monique, Zina and Jitka. These are the names of six American women, and a little girl, shot and killed by domestic abusers who easily bought guns online by exploiting our country’s background check loophole – a failing in the law that allows criminals and other dangerous people to buy guns from unlicensed sellers, no questions asked. ...more
Any measures we an take to help save our mothers and children in this country should be explored ...more

Rest in Peace, E'dena Hines

Morgan Freeman’s granddaughter, E’dena Hines, was stabbed to death by a mentally ill man (who appears to have been either her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend) claiming he was performing an exorcism....more

The Grinch Mantra

When I notice how self obsessed I have become through my experience as a participant in the dance of domestic violence I am truly stunned. As a younger woman, innocent to many ills of society, including partner abuse, I was invested in creating peace, though in my natural exuberance I was a bit more like a tornado than a calming wind. Now as I bumble back to my authentic self it is not without sadness that I realize what I gave away, what was taken from me. I lost my belief in everything I thought about the world and myself....more

This is not how it was supposed to be

For 6 years, 6 long, long years, I fought and cried and suppressed my own needs and wants, and died a little inside every time I failed to make us happy. Thinking it was me that had the problem; I was selfish and a bitch.  After all, I wanted this. I actively sought out someone to make a life with, make a family with. ...more

14 Red Flags of Domestic Violence

 Recently, someone close to me was attacked by her boyfriend. After the initial shock and disbelief, anger and sadness set it. How can you treat someone you love that way? Words can’t express how horrifying that is to me on every level. There is no excuse for laying a hand on a woman. You are not the exception because that is “not your style.” You hit a woman; you have anger issues, plain and simple. Maybe she overlooked the signs or maybe they were kept well hidden until the day he snapped. Regardless, he did snap and it was probably not the first time. If you can’t communicate what bigger issues are eating at you, and you let it fester until it comes out in a violent response, that is your issue. If you feel provoked, take a minute to respond versus flying off the handle and using your fists or another body part to “solve” the problem....more

The NFL's Steps Against Domestic Violence Aren't Enough

Whether you watched the Super Bowl for the game, for the commercials, for the halftime show, or perhaps not at all, chances are you saw or heard about the first anti-domestic violence commercial that aired during the big event. The commercial was sponsored by NO MORE in partnership with the NFL. It was placed among many other hard-hitting commercials that stood out in stark contrast to the normally comedic advertisements. If you missed it, you can watch the chilling video here: ...more

We Are the Other People

It only happens to other people. Other women. Mostly trashy ones. Mostly trashy ones that live in trailer parks. Mostly ones that have a bunch of baby-daddies. Mostly ones that have shitty teeth and shitty hair. Mostly ones that aren't smart. Mostly just the ones who have no self esteem and no future and think he's right when he says nobody's ever gonna love her but him. For sure they're not smart enough to leave that sonofabitch for what he does to her. She needs his money anyway. She's probably pregnant AGAIN.Maybe.Or not....more