Sponsoring My Own Growth

I started this blog years ago with the intention of writing about things that mattered to me. I had intended to write about my son. I wanted to get things off my chest regarding my turbulent marriage. I needed to talk about my mom's dementia. I thought I would be writing about the looming empty nest that I knew was coming back in 2013. As it turns out, the nest would be completely empty....more

Could he be bipolar or is he just a jerk who's an emotional abuser?

 I was going to file for divorce in the summer of 2009...more
my own experience.... he wont change his attitude..... no matter what you do....more

I've never actually wished death on someone before...

I've never come right out and said, "I wish he would die" before, but for the first time yesterday I said it would be better if he did... or if any of the three did. ...more

Is my spouse verbally abusive or controlling? I've reached the end of my rope.

After this weekend I decided it might help me if I started sharing the things my other half says to me that I question whether or not are abusive and/or controlling.  It’s really hard because he does have some good qualities and I tend, at times, to let those overshadow what I suspect are the not-so-good qualities.  I’m made to think that these things happen because of me.  In fact, I’ve been told “if you would just listen to what I tell you” or “if you would do what I tell you” or (and this one makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck) “if you wouldn’t talk back all th...more
Your story is so much like mine. If you look up "narcissistic" in the dictionary , you have my ...more

Blah, Blah, Blah

There's two sides to every story...This is mine ...more

Dear Mom: I Still Can't Call You On Mother's Day....or any day

Truths from the ChaosDear Mom, I wanted to call you for Mother’s Day. I think I look forward to the day I can call you again. (Progress.) I must admit, I wish it didn’t bother me so to think about you being asked the question, “Did you talk to your kids yesterday?” I don’t like knowing you are in such an uncomfortable situation....more
 @gab15th *smiling* This process is certainly bitter sweet.  I feel the growth happening through ...more

The Right Fit

There's two sides to every story...This is mine...more

Emotional Abuse: An Open Letter To My Husband

I am asking for something major: to try, with an open mind, over a number of days, to consider if you are emotionally abusive.Just consider it. Read the books I got you. Try to think them over from an outside perspective, from my perspective, or from the kids' perspective. Just open yourself to the possibility that you have inherited the dysfunction you grew up with....more
Whoa, what a poignant post. My Dad used to say a marriage license was a "license to kill." I was ...more

Painful Truth #3

I have made it to day #3 of my Painful Truth month relatively unscathed.Day 3: I will sacrifice almost anything to avoid a fight. I used to love a good argument but now I avoid arguing at all costs, even if I am right, even if the cost is too high. That is unacceptable.In theory, being honest and regaining my backbone should be easy. All I have to do is open my mouth and let the things creeping just behind my lips slip out. ...more