A Letter to My Kids on National Adoption Day

This morning started off like most others. You two were up at the crack of dawn. You charmed Daddy into giving you each a brownie for breakfast while I was in the shower.  Kaden, you had us all laughing until our sides hurt when you pulled open you pajama shirt to reveal the "tattoo" of your own name you'd given yourself with a contraband pen across your chest. We knew you'd done it while looking in the mirror, painstakingly forming each letter, because they were all backwards....more

They Break, You Know

It was something about the phrasing that got to me. Something about the cadence of his words, the staccato of his speech.“Nobody loves me. Not even my mother who gave birth to me.”It is an odd turn of phrase, isn’t it?Not even my mother who gave birth to me....more

Homeless Youth of California

No one really knows how many of California’s young people are homeless at any given time.  But on one day in the middle of the winter last year, a PIT count (a flash census — PIT stands for “point in time”) estimated the number to be about 15,000.  That’s 15,000 youngsters aged 12 to 24 sleeping under bridges and over heating grates, in cars, in shelters, in the woods or on someone’s couch.I’ve known for some time that there are a lot of homeless young people, but I found this number to be truly appalling.  And that’s just for one state!...more

Heart Like a Stone

From my seat at the table, I could see Marla walking across the courtyard with a young woman, probably her case manager. They were walking fast, in step, almost like they were a couple that might be holding hands except Marla was holding a notebook and some papers in her arms....more
This is interesting.  Tell me more.more

{Foster Care} Officially Foster Parents!

The time has finally come. We are officially foster parents…whoop whoop! We have finished all things that we had to do to get our house opened.It’s actually really funny because I remember earlier this month, I was talking to my husband and it seemed like we had so much to do. And I just wasn’t sure if we were going to be opened this month. But now, I can’t figure out what I was worried about....more

The Unlikely Friendship of My Mom and Mother

Statistically, foster situations happen when one or both parents are completely incompetent for one reason or another. My mother wasn't incompetent, just overwhelmed. My father was an alcoholic who beat my mother. He was always in and out, sometimes gone for days (jail, most likely) and even months. Then one day, he didn't come back. He was just gone. I was five-years-old the last time I saw him. He said he would meet me on Friday at the bus stop. He wasn't there, and I felt devastated. ...more
Fantastic post! Thank you for sharing. Truly an amazing story.more

Would I Lie To You, Baby?

So, true confession: I lie to my kids.Some days I lie to them a lot, some days not at all. Some lies are big ones, others are inconsequential. Some lies come easily, while others take a bit of thought. Regardless, they’re lies. As a person who values honesty in every other facet of my life, I can realize how hypocritical my fibbing is. And yet, I can also realize how many times it’s been a necessary part of parenting....more
I loved this post and I'm totally stealing the "yeah honey, the ice cream man only plays that ...more

Golds and Silvers

I’ve just crawled into bed and tucked the covers under my arms when there is a soft, hesitant rapping at my bedroom door.“Yes?” I call out, knowing full well who the teeny tiny rapping hands belong to.“I need to give you something,” comes the calm reply.It is nine-thirty at night, and I have just finished refereeing Sunny’s hour long tamtrum. I am exhausted, puffy eyed, and my arm is already sporting the telltale ache of a bruise forming in the spot that her heel made contact with me – several times....more
I have had those nights with my oldest.  Too many of them.  He seems ruled by emotions he cannot ...more

Questions for Potential Adoption Placement

Sooooooo.... we are meeting S's therapist Thursday morning to ask him questions. So. Many. Questions....more

Two Weeks

It's the night before my first (legal and official) Mother's Day, and I am overwhelmed with two feelings: love and guilt.  ...more