Family Day

  It seems much longer than five years, and in some ways like only yesterday, that we brought home our little girl. She was 8 years old and was ready for a forever home.  Our process to bring her home was akin to riding a roller coaster while being shot at with a machine gun....more

Do I Actually Advocate Something Other Than Adoption? No … and Yes.

I was recently asked the following question on Twitter: “You seem to advocate more communal care of children than adoption per se. Isn't there a big difference between the two?” It’s a good question, but don’t think I can answer it in 140 characters, so I’ve decided to address the matter here. ...more

Love Is Not a Pie

When I tell people that I have developed a good relationship with my daughter’s biological mother and am feeling very positive about the efforts my husband and I have been making to include her more in our lives as an extended family member, they almost always respond with some version of the following: “Wow, that’s great! But aren’t you afraid …” This is followed by the expression of various concerns that naturally arise....more

Your story reminds me of the ideal romcom, the kind of movie that sweetly portrays ideal lives ...more


Laila finally moved in Thursday for good. What a joyous day for us. She said she was so happy to be back. Her social worker brought her to us around 1:30 that afternoon. She had all of her worldly possessions in a Hello Kitty backpack. It's so crazy to think that everything she has fits into a backpack. I will buy her everything she needs and lots of things she doesn't. I will make sure she has clothes, toys, vacations. I can't give her those first 6 years back though. She has been in 5 homes before ours. She has faced alot of neglect and rejection. She hasn't been cuddled enough....more

I teared up reading your post. I am so happy for Laila and I commend you for being conscious of ...more

Tough Week

This week has started off pretty awful. First we get a call from DHR on Monday morning. I am expecting it to be Laila's social worker telling us to come pick Laila up and bring her to live with us permanently. Instead she is calling to tell me that because there is a bit more red tape we are NOT moving today and hopefully we can move her by the end of the week. I can't describe how disappointed I was. I was so excited about moving her in on Monday and now she is stuck in her current placement until who knows when....more

You are such an encouragement to me. When you adopt it seems like everyone puts you under a ...more

So Far This Week

We took Laila to church with us for the first time last Sunday. She got nervous on the way and started saying her tummy hurt. I could tell she was a little scared so I promised her that Elizabeth would stay with her the whole time. Having sister close by seemed to make her feel better. I sing in the praise team and during music I saw her sitting on the front row. During the first song she just stood there. On the second she started clapping along. By the third song she was actually dancing and really getting into it....more

Our First Full Weekend with Laila

Well, thanks to some red tape, Laila still hasn't gotten to move in yet. She will now be moving in next week. All I know right now is that it will be after Wednesday but as soon as possible after that. On the bright side, we did get to have her for this whole weekend. Friday night we went to dinner at a local fast food place and the kids were great. When we got home they played well together and had a good time. We didn't have any problems until bedtime. Elizabeth and Clay fell asleep right on schedule but Laila didn't seem to be tired at all....more

Laila's Hair Care Haul

We talked to our social worker today and let her know that our visit with Laila Saturday was awesome. She said tomorrow she would talk to her supervisor about getting Laila moved in asap. As soon as I hung up the phone I realized that Laila could be here any time within the next 4 days and I didn't have any products for her hair. A trip to walmart was in order. The first thing I learned is that my local walmart was not the best choice. Their selection was meager at best. I decided to try a drug store instead so off to Rite Aid I went....more

All Day Visit with Laila

Today was Clay's 7th birthday and we had a fun day planned. It was also Laila's all day visit. Previously we had an hour long meet and greet with her but today we picked her up at 9am and kept her until 6pm. I was a bit nervous on the way to pick her up. All these thought kept running through my mind like What if she doesn't like us? What if we can't control her? What if her foster mom thinks I'm not good enough? As usual, all my worrying was for nothing. We had a great day!! When we first arrived at her house she was in the yard waiting on us....more

thank you so much for the encouragement!! I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog. ...more

Update on Laila

While I was sitting in carline today, waiting to pick my kids up from school, I got a call from Laila's social worker. She said that our all day visit with Laila can be this Saturday. I was thrilled because this is our son's birthday and she will get to experience a fun family day with us. She then floored me with her next statement. She told me that if all goes well at the all day visit Laila can move in next week! That is great news! The sooner we get her here the better. We are supposed to call her foster mother tomorrow to set up the visit. I am a bit intimidated by this....more