Mindful Parenting

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The Lion, The Witch & The Wine Bottle

I try to be a great wife and mother, I really do - but every once in a while I just want to be left the heck alone. ...more

In Good Company

 This parenting stuff.Easy peasy right?  NO. ...more

Friendships and Vibrators

I love my gal pals. They go along with all the shenanigans that I throw their way.When I show up with eye black and ninja gear, they don't ask silly questions.When I post pictures of myself breaking and entering into their homes, they don't seek legal council....more

When I Grow Up: What Goes Around Comes Around in Parenting

When I was a teenager, I was full of ideas about what my life would be like. My mother would glance up from her novel and listen as I laid out my plans for a beautiful life unmarred by children or husbands or society's silly, oppressive rules. A perfect apartment in a city wonderland. All white furniture, white carpet. No clutter. No avocado appliances. And for the love of god, no Early American decor....more
After my mom cut my long hair, I scratched the words, "I hate you" into an antique dresser. ...more

The Innocent Halloween Scare

Halloween is not the time for grown-ups to act like little kids and scare children. Take it from me. It’s just a bad idea….The time was 1991. I was out to save the world as a recent college graduate turned social worker. My soon to be husband was in sales. We were just starting out, but not quite ready to leave our younger days behind. Halloween to us still meant drinking parties and dressing up and pulling pranks. Apparently you are supposed to grow out of this, but at the time no one had informed us of this. We were grown up little kids ourselves!...more

Dear Stranger, Hands Off!

Dear Person Touching My Baby, I know what you’re thinking, and I completely agree with you: She is adorable. It’s just that you are, well, you know, not. In fact, you’re covered in germs and all sorts of other things. God knows where your hands have been -- you did wash them last time you pooped, right?...more
So funny...but so true...This gives me so much anxiety! I'm pregnant with my first and I have ...more

What they don't tell you about being pregnant

Your boobs will grow to be the size of your head.  Not just big, but literally the size of your head.  Barely four months into my pregnancy and my cup already runneth over.  I am spilling out of my C cups and officially just became a D student however; I don’t see that lasting very long.  At some point, I’ll just start duct taping these puppies in place.  I imagine that while maybe more painful, it’s probably a helluva lot cheaper than buying new bras every month.  I was under the impression that there would be t...more
Pee your pants, why yes that's just fabulous.  While pregnant with my son (who it turned out was ...more

85 YO Mom and BFF Lunch - Catfight Almost Ensues!

LUNCH WITH TWO WOMEN NAMED JOAN When she was ten, my mother met a girl who shared her first name. They quickly became best friends and stayed so for the next 73 years. Together they shared schoolyard memories, weddings, and years of family get-togethers. But in the year and a half since my father passed away, my mom had not been able to see her best friend, Joan, because they live an hour apart and neither could drive on the freeways. (Though unfortunate for them, likely countless lives have been saved by their motoring absence.)...more

Mom's Bath Time - Illustrated

The universal experience for moms when trying to take a bath...alone. Is this the way it is in your home too?...more
Hahaha! It's nice to know I'm not the only one :)more