What No One Tells You About Getting Old

We're warned from a young age that getting old sucks.  We're told about how our hair will grey, our skin will sag, our joints will ache, and our eyesight will weaken.  We're told about how it will slow our metabolism and increase our irritability.  We're cautioned about so many things, I thought I was well prepared for growing into an old maid, but there was something no one warned me about.  DUN DUN DUN......more

20 Signs Your Pop Culture References Are Probably Falling Flat

A lifetime ago I worked for a madman (all of the sexism and alcohol of Mad Men but without Jon Hamm) in an office with an eclectic cast of characters....more
Can I get The Facebook and The Twitter on The Windows 8?more

Celebrate Your Birthday

My husband turned 40 years old. It was a big deal for me. I wanted to throw him a party he would remember forever. I wanted him to wake up to a jolly good morning that would make him want to chase unicorns and slide off the top of the rainbows (I am speaking metaphorically here. I did not plan to spike his coffee with LSD or anything.). I wanted him to dance on the tables, laugh until his belly hurts and get him in bed drunk with endorphines (and maybe some wine)....more

F**k I'm Old!

I am getting older and it's not just the wrinkles on my forehead, my financial stability, or the fact that I floss my teeth regularly that I know I'm aging. It's mostly because I don't watch MTV anymore. It was so cool in the 80s and 90s I thought how can music videos on TV ever not be cool? I thought the same thing about leg warmers, paisley, cuffed jeans, and flannel. The demographic for MTV is 18 - 34. I'm 37. I'm only a few years out, but I can feel the divide between me and the younger generation. When I was younger I swore I'd never lose touch with my younger self....more

Retiree in the Making

Top ten indications that I’m getting old:...more
Oh dear lord! I can relate to most of these things on this list! Does this mean I am on my way ...more

Don't make me laugh too hard....

And god-forbid, don't let me sneeze.  All you chicas 39 and over know what I mean. I shoulda' done those dang kegel exercises. Turning 40 isn't so bad, its just that the warranty recently expired and everything is beginning to wear down, malfunction, jiggle, droop, drop and just plain break. And I'm not the only one. My husband Derek is 40 this year, too, and has developed plantar fasciitis....more

don't get me started on the laundry :) when i moved 2 years ago there were sheets in the dryer. ...more

Confessions of an Insomniac: Chinny chin hairs

I remember watching my grandmother pluck hairs from her chin when I was a young girl. I was horrified. Would this happen to me? Would I turn into a man? My grandmother laughed and shrugged, “it’s just part of getting old.” It’s official. I am old. I got my first chinny chin hair the other day. Read the rest of this entry at http://www.confessionsofaninsomniac.com/?p=283. ...more

Warrior in Training

I live by a number. Each month I get a new one. I call to ask for it and while the nurse searches in my electronic lab file, I hold my breath. It's as though I'm under water, just below the surface. So close that I can see the sky and the sun but submerged deep enough that I could drown if I breathe before it's safe to resurface. Then I get my number... 5.2, or 7.2 or 3.9 or 7.1 and I'm back in the world. But I know some day that number will probably be too high and I'll gasp, choke and begin to drown. But I'm Not Dying Today. Ovarian cancer sucks. ...more


There are 2 women in my life who have inspired and influenced me greatly. My mother ...more