Forget Me Not.

He should be eighteen But will remain forever nine The little boy with the laughing eyes And the mop of curly untameable hair Caught forever in endless days of childhood A chance word A song on the radio It catches me unaware Reopening a wound that has never fully healed My heart screams in pain And I am hurled once more upon the jagged rocks of memory. A phonecall in the night My sister's tears Her mumbled words Her grief rends the world I hold her tight Yet cannot touch her...more

on grief

Letting go and holding on.

My breakup began around the beginning of January last year. For a long time I designated January 5th for when it all began. I'm not sure exactly if it was that day, but January 5th always seemed right to me. I didn't move out until February 16th, so that's when it will be officially the One Year Anniversary. So to commemorate this time last year, my subconscious has decided that every night I have to have some kind of dreadful, nightmarish, gut-wrenching dream about my ex; every night since New Years Eve. Every. Fucking. Night....more

When it's hard to be positive

I landed myself a little job last week. And it is making me very, very sad. It’s an easy job. For just a couple hours a day I post links to the blog of a non-profit. No-brainer kind of work that helps out with the bills. So, what’s the problem? The non-profit organization happens to be a hospital based in Haiti....more

I try to put a positive spin on it. I felt how you did/do. I wanted to help, I'm a Nurse, ...more

Love Endures

 I posted a story today which I believe is worth sharing to a larger audience for the life lesssons it imparts. My blog Delicacies deals with a wide variety of issues. Today's topic was about death: http://delicacies.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/love-endures/ What makes this story unique, without showing disprespect, is the lesson for all of us in talking about death and the inevitable. The individual I write of has shown us how to handle loss with dignity and truth. I hope that when that time comes for me or my loved ones we will follow his example. ...more

Ready For My Close Up (and Infertility Discussion)

The New Year is only three days in and I'm already marking it with a new first -- my television debut tomorrow, Jan 4, but the prep started in 2009:Hair cut and colored. CheckTeeth whitened. CheckTalking points ready. Check...more

Why are the nights so hard?

Today should be the second week of my break up. But, techically, it's the first day. ...more

I Think Tonight I'll Take the Long Way...

"there's a song that they sing when they take to the highway..." Music is such a big part of my life, and my iPod playlist is always a reflection of my mood... On a normal day I usually just pick my "Favs" which encompasses everything I love... When I'm in a particularly fabulous mood, I click over to my "No Boys Allowed" mix which contains a large quantity of "sing-at-the-top-of-my-lungs" chick songs (which I appropriately sing at the top of my lungs). "on the way home this car hears my confessions..." ...more

When The Season Just Doesn't Seem All That Merry And Bright

About a month ago, I wrote about coping with grief during the holidays. It was around Thanksgiving, and I was more or less in the mind of preparing for coping with grief at Christmas. Christmas was going to be the doozy for me, I knew. Christmas was going to be when dealing with the loss of my dad was going to hit me square in the chest and knock me to the floor. I wanted to be ready. I readied myself to be ready.I wasn't ready....more

I lost my dad in July. The holidays have been so hard. But your post really is true. It's ...more

Amber's Mewsings

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and got their fill of turkey!  I got a special yummy Thanksgiving meal yesterday, and for once, Mom didn’t spend most of the day on the computer, so it was a really good day.  I’m so thankful for my mom -  she’s the best. ...more
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