April's Arrival - first NaBloPoMo poem

 April brings memories upon memories for me: Technicolor detail of the last week of one of my best friends’ life. Is it any wonder part of me wishes to sleep through it and wake up in May? Of course, I will be fine once this week is over, but that’s little consolation, as I have to get there first. April’s ArrivalFor some it arrives with hardly a whisperAnother month, the bringer of SpringFor me, it arrives well beforeAccompanied by a siren song...more

One Mother’s Tragedy Is Another Mother’s Lesson

The other day I was complaining about always having to clean up after my young son and all the messes a young child makes.I have been over stressed lately and loaded down with extra work and I was feeling the strain. I was just plain worn out.I complained to God about it all and asked for His help in dealing with it all. God has a unique way of putting things back into perspective....more

Refusing the Script

In reading an assortment of magazines on life and parenting, I notice a big trend in people wanting to provide scripts to living.  Over and over, I stumble across articles written by PhDs who wax philosophical about all the proper things to say (and not to say) to people experiencing a host of issues including  death, infertility, disease, pregnancy, autism, and divorce....more

Losing Two - Kim Tiderman's Story

I wrestled with whether or not to write this particular post. The only reason I've moved forward, I've decided, is because the BlogHer community is so much larger than our blog community in Oklahoma. I thought this would perhaps be helpful to someone.I'm not sure...so I'm posting this under "grief" and just letting the post fall where it may in terms of potential readers....more

Because sometimes grief all comes down to....a cell phone.

 For those of you who haven't been obsessively following my blog (and why not, might I ask?) let me fill you in on the events that have occurred over the past year, or so.1. 11/02/09 - I discover that my husband of 17 years has been seriously abusing prescription medications. Among other things. This follows a 14-year pattern of substance abuse on his part.2. 11/02/09 - I tell him that I can't allow our children to wake up one morning, only to discover that their father had died in the basement....more

Letter 2

Dear God, Grandma is sick. I have no doubt that you know but I needed to talk. She’s always been there through my life. Heck, she lived down the street from me for a good portion of it. It is hard for me to picture my life without her and I’m concerned. I say ‘concerned’ and not, ‘worried,’ or ‘scared,’ because, (and I’ve thought about this quite hard) I’m not worried about where she’s going and I certainly am not scared about it either. I am, however, concerned about the manner in which she is going to get there and how much I am going to miss her when she goes....more

How to Help Grieving Friends

Grieving is an intensely personal journey. There may be stages but they don't often come in order or stay in a neat line. They leap around in surprising and unpredictable ways. Friends want to help, to say the right things but often end up feeling they can't get it right. As someone who recently went through the horror of the sudden and senseless death of my brother, I remember the well-intentioned and loving ways people reached out. Our responses and needs are different in the first mind-numbing days and months....more

the most traumatizing experience

                                     The most traumatizing experience ever? That would have to be when a family member passed away around this time last year. Ironically, the family member  was here  because of other trouble.The family member spent most of the time at my  house....more

Jeff is a Long Story

 Heading south down I-77 Ashley said, "What are you going to say when someone asks about Jeff.""I don't think they will.  Everyone knows."Ashley said, "I had a dream that a man without a face would ask about your brother.  Y...more

Fishing for Signs of Life.

I have never wanted a pool boy as much as I do at this very moment.That’s right, I said it. So let’s just spend a second or two indulging this little fantasy, shall we? Hours spent lounging poolside in a bikini that you have worked all winter long to squeeze into. Frothy liquid concoction, high-powered sunblock and summer’s must-read release on the side table. A not-too-perfect man to apply lotion to those hard-to-reach spots.Right....more