I still ask why..

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. – Washington IrvingFor most, this is usually the most exciting time of the year, the holiday season is full of love and filled with family. Unfortunately, for me, this time of the year reopens wounds that I try to force close throughout the rest of the year....more

Dear Mom

 Dear Mom,  I can't believe it's been almost a year since you passed. Your birthday is quickly approaching. It's so weird that you're not "here". I think about you more than I ever thought I would and I grieve you more than I ever imagined....more

Everything and Nothing Hurts

*I wrote this short piece in the immediate weeks following my Dad's death. I'm sharing it here, with you all, because everything in this piece is still true. Sometimes I don't hurt as bad as other times, but the hurt and pain is all still so very very true. And I'm stuck sometimes because I often feel more lost than I let on.*...more

The Bravest Person I Know Is A Mother

 The bravest person I know is the parent facing life after the loss of their child.I’m trying not to live in fear, not to future trip. I’m trying to send love and light and strength and healing energy. I’m trying not to be furious at the Universe who is taking parents on this journey....more

NaBloPoMo (11/2015) - Day 10: Distracting grief

 My posts of late have not been particularly happy or perky. With good reason.I realized one week ago (November 3) that it had been three years since my mother spoke to me.I realized today that November 3 of this year marks the last time my friend, Sandra, spoke to me.Four days later, on November 7, my friend passed away just shy of her 47th birthday - she was 8 months younger than I am.Today is the 3rd anniversary of my mother's passing....more


Four weekends ago my sisters and I sorted through, looked at, and wondered at the amount of stuff in my parent’s home....more

Sweet Acceptnace

Every once in a long while, a random act of love touches us. When this happens, we are thankful. ...more

3 - Looking at Grief in Moments of 3

3 minutes – I couldn’t catch my breath. I felt my soul screaming. My husband was trying to comfort me, trying to wrap his arms around me and pull me close and all I wanted to do was run.  But the air just felt like it was pouring out of me as I tried to wrap my head around the idea.  I was lost somewhere between rage and horror.  My best friend was dead. ...more

I Was 9 Months Pregnant When My Mom Died

The phone rang and my body tensed, just as it had for the last two days whenever the phone rang. I was waiting for the call. The one where the voice on the other end of the line would tell me, "She's gone, Jacqui. Mom died."...more
I had lost my parents in one of the accident; I was about 8-9 years old. I didn’t get the chance ...more