Experiencing Grief

And now I'm struggling and grieving, and I feel like I just don't know how to do it, how to get through it, how not to throw down the rest of my life and stomp and cry "It's not fair!" But nobody died, which means that outsiders don't necessarily understand. So I keep living and writing and shopping for groceries and paying the bills and trying to pretend I am not grieving every day, every hour. ...more
I think grief over a marriage is real grief. I wish you blessings in that, Barbaramore


I am in such a toxic state this week. I feel like I have this swollen mass of aching poison in the middle of my body. This horrific THING that I have to birth to feel better. The pressure increases, but does not induce labour....more

Losing My Parents, Losing My Voice

I've been trying to start a blog for a couple months now. In theory, this should be no big deal. I used to have one, for six years. And I'm a natural-born oversharer. I've brazenly talked about my failures as a wife and as a single parent on morning TV. My Facebook status updates have been a detailed record of life's minutiae, from the delight of freshly highlighted hair to the irritation of traffic jams. And once a month in the editor's letter of the magazine I ran for six years, I'd craft a simple piece, whether about my promises not to overschedule and overanticipate for the holidays or about my sense of loss for having had only one child, that would resonate with the 10 million women who might read it....more
I am so sorry for your loss.When I lost both of my parents I experienced a similar feeling of ...more

Twelve Years Later: How Widowhood Really Feels

by Michele BuchananI remember everything, or at least the things that matter. I remember every pore of his skin, the encysted bump he had on the back of his head, the way he looked like a droll rabbi when he steepled his fingers. I remember the smell of his skin. I remember the lopsided grin he’d get, so wolfish and calculating and triumphant, when he’d won an argument....more

Home Bound -Gnome Mound

When Grief Is Served Alongside The Gravy: Coping With Loss During The Holidays

Late this summer, my father died. I'm still grieving the loss. I will be grieving the loss for the rest of my life. But the rest of life is a very long time, and there are many days to get through, and so I work very hard on coping and I think that I'm doing pretty well. But some days are harder than others. Some days are much harder than others. Holidays are the hardest....more

Inevitably, another year gone by means somebody missing from one table or another.  This ...more


I am at the point these last few days where I can rationally work through the reality that my mother is gone.When I focus on that idea I can work it through to it's logical end and accept that all we have are our memories of Her. Luckily for us those memories are so full of Her incredible, indestructible spirit that they will not easily be lost.And then I lie in bed and close my eyes....more

My Ears Have Popped

For me grief has been something like this; you know when you're in an airplane or at a loud concert or club and your ears plug up so that everything outside of your own thoughts is muffled and garbled and ultimately it becomes too much effort to attempt to focus on anything outside yourself (maybe that part is just me - I'm both lazy and self absorbed)?Then suddenly, out of the blue, your ears pop and unplug and you are hyper-sensitive to the slightest sound?...more

thank you for your support - it's so good to have an outlet!


A Widowed Mom Reviews "The Boys Are Back"

Hollywood loves the widower as romantic lead. Clive Owen’s character in the Boys are Back promises a trifecta cliché: he cared for his wife when she had cancer, he parents their small child, and he has no idea how to do laundry.I can see the screenwriters salivating: enter the beautiful divorcee with a kid the same age, cue music, and as the sun sets we know closure’s been reached. And no one really expects a movie to hit it on the head when discussing an issue like losing a partner and raising a child amid the stress and numbness of grief. ...more

BlogHers of the Week: Lesbian Dad; Spin Me I Pulsate; and Matt, Liz and Madeline

This week we couldn't help but notice a theme in some of your recommendations for BlogHer of the Week. As I started to read your posts a familiar, but long tucked away, feeling of grief arose, and I was grateful I wasn't in the office at that moment, because the tears came, then again, and again. I remembered how it felt to touch bottom, experience emptiness, and then see life slowly leak back into the picture, sometimes slowly, and other times with overwhelming, ersatz saturation like Technicolor. ...more

I read the BlogHer of the week posts I am just blown away by the power of words and the ...more