Why I'm Happy I Found My Dead Birth Father

Nearly eight years ago I learned that I was adopted. My world became searching and researching anything that had to do with adoption -- all forms and from all vantage points. I learned as much as I could about where I came from while trying to understand why young women relinquish parental rights.I was lost and needed to find myself. Journaling turned into writing my story which gave me peace and purpose. But there was no end to the pain of being deceived. Yes, there was a beginning, but no ending, just moving forward differently.  ...more
PattyCakesPantry WOW! That has to be something. One bit of history I didn't add, my husband and ...more

Second Therapy Session

One week after the first, I found myself looking forward to going back for the second time.  We had to take care of a few more formalities, which meant more questions about my life.  I don’t remember these word for word, as it was over a month ago.  Yet, the idea behind these questions will stay in my mind forever....more

Who Are You, Mama?

When I was six months pregnant, I got my favorite parenting advice so far. I was slouched at my desk, which was overflowing with everything necessary to help me wrap up a school year as assistant director at a child care center and begin another summer as director of a day camp program - lists and binders and first aid kits and behavior charts and emergency cards and Post-its. So many Post-its....more

10 Things to Tell Your (Grand)children in April

10 Things to Tell Your (grand)children in April.  Share your stories with your children and they will build their sense of ancestry.  Click here to read more. ...more

Every woman's struggle: Identity and looking for completeness

Identity. The ongoing struggle that plagues us as we figure out where we fit in this world. Who am I? What am I supposed to do with my life? Is this the person I'm going to be with for the rest of my life? In the midst of it all, we have Hollywood, spreading lies as truth, loudly and boldly. At the root of all the lies, is simply this: "You are incomplete without _________." The world fills in the blank with spouse/partner/lover, career, material possession, wealth, and any other number of tangible things....more

Being A Foster Kid: There is Hope

     My husband and I had to go through training to be foster parents.  120 hours of information on how to deal with Child Protective Services and licensing agencies, first aid and CPR, and learning about some of the things that we could expect to encounter being foster parents.  While this was a major commitment for us because we had three kids who had to be babysat every Saturday for quite some time, it in no way prepared us for what was to come.  It was just the beginning....more

I am SHE

I was this witty, spicy, ambitous chick - what happened? Well, yes marriage, losing 2 babies and  some friends along that journey but again is SHE still? I think SHE is just more appreciative of this life, journey and not so stuck on this supposed plan. SHE is even more witty down right hilarious at times but most importantly a new creature. I think often of the reference in spirutal realms about God being the potter and humans being the clay now knowing each piece of pottery made is more valuable because of its distinctive markings....more

The Tendency to ignore the rainbow elephant in the room

I came out to my motherat the age of 24 over a phone conversation. She lives in Colombia and I in New York. Everyone advised me against it given that she is extremely religious but I, of course, did not listen. I wanted to be honest and be able to be myself. Bad idea. My mother got deeply depressed and to this date refuses to talk about it. She feels defeated and failed, as if my gaynness came from something she did wrong while raising me. And I can name a thousand things she did wrong but I doubt any of them led to gayness. I was born this way. ...more