My real live name is Persephone Hannah Eileen Riley, but everyone calls me Wonder. Before I was born my great Aunt Sally Jehosophat always wondered things about me. Like would I be a girl or boy? Did the doctor get my due date right? And would I resemble her?
Obviously I was, I am, a girl. The nurse midwife named Winnie did indeed predict my born-on date correctly. And yes, I do in fact favor Aunt Sally J. For better, I see the world through her Kentucky bluegrass eyes....more
One crucial ideal in my life, living with Bipolar Disorder, is my never-ending support system that will not go unnoticed. My support system includes my Mental Health team (my shrink and therapist), my online support group, my family, and friends of course. Normally when I'm in a session talking about my supports I reference my immediate support system, being my friends and family. These are the people I can turn to at the drop of a hat when the $h*t$ about to hit the fan. So far they've never let me down....more
As I’m planning out my life, I want to make sure my boyfriend is included in those plans, but I also don’t want to make any assumptions. Every time I’ve started to assume things, reality smacks me in my face....more
It's storming outside tonight. Again.I'm craving sunshine. Yes. This rain-loving, born-in-San-Diegan wants warmth from the sun and natural, bright light.But, it is still May. One more day anyhow. And another shower can't be bad for the rainforest that surrounds us here. So, I'll just write about last night. When it wasn't raining. When it was surprisingly cold out and the sun was setting beyond the forest's edge.~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~...more
Today, my daughter returned a present to me which I had given her years ago, when she was really little.I have been visiting her in Brazil, for the last week and for several reasons, until today, she had not wanted to leave my side for more than a minute. Part of it was the sweetness of being together again and part of it was a newly grown protective streak....more
A birth control commercial currently showing on tv depicts a handful of young, attractive women entering what appears to be a store of dreams. Everything is in miniature – here is a beautiful house, there is a trip to Paris. Two women even grab for the same good-looking guy. But when a stork carrying a little bundle of joy approaches one of the women, she shoos it away, quickening her step to avoid impending motherhood. Honestly, I think I see just the slightest wave of terror cross her face.
A.P. is out of town until Friday night. (He's on business in Las Vegas. I get Kansas, he gets Las Vegas. Ah, well, whatdya gonna do?) He left early this morning. I was so, so sad to see him go. I pick on him a lot. I demand a lot from him. I know I'm not a piece of cake, but I love him. It's times like these I know for sure. He woke me up to say good-bye, and I actually got up on my knees and gave him a big, tight hug and kissed him good-bye....more
We all have visions of what our children will be like. I've always been a staunch believer in nurture over nature, and I've had visions of weekend soccer games and ponytails, of my sporty, tomboy daughter laughing together with her group of sporty, tomboy friends for well, for as long as I've been envisioning having a daughter. I cringed at the cheerleaders and dance team girls in high school. I felt appalled at the flighty college sorority girls, at girls who couldn't be seen without makeup and hair just so....more