We looked through old papers tonight, pages of them, some in English, most in Spanish, documents pulled out of a torn white envelope, each one signifying some step in the adoption of one of our three children from Nicaragua.
In the papers were names we had forgotten, names of people and places.
I googled this phrase before adopting and didn’t find the answer I was looking for. So here’s the magic formula I wish someone had given me years ago – a big dose of humility. I know several couples who have complained or cried or tried to minimize their sadness about their inability to conceive. I’ve been there too. I spent many a night in tears about the unfairness and injustice of not being able to have a child. Add to that the majority of my waking hours were spent as the attorney of sometimes less than stellar parents....more
It's interesting that, on the one hand, the U.S. government is tied in knots about children seeking refuge on our southern border and, on the other, is facilitating the adoption of thousands of children from dozens of countries by American families....more
It's National Adoption Month. Sometimes I wonder why everybody doesn't adopt children. Other times, I wonder why anyone would. I'm not ambivalent, just multi-faceted.
In honor of National Adoption Month, I decided to make a list of the top ten things to think about before you adopt a child. These will not have been things that I, myself, thought about before adopting three children but that shouldn't stop the reader from finding them terribly useful....more
I remember the first time I was able to connect to Tsega, my three-year-old's "story." I was sitting on the couch, talking to one of his therapists about his challenges, my concerns for him, what I believed about his trauma and the effects of it on his life and brain and future. And I broke down into an ugly cry. As I spoke the words aloud and shared the details of his life it hit me: The depth and scope of what my son experienced. And I wanted to take it all away. It was horrible, unfair, stupid. I was angry at the people in his life that allowed it. Most kids at age three are learning colors and how to sort shapes and how to share toys. He has bigger fish to fry and sometimes it feels like the fish are trying to eat him....more
Yesterday was the start of National Adoption Month. Around our house I have been busy writing articles for Adoption.Com on different ways to celebrate the month, and we have all been sporting purple ribbons for adoption awareness....more
Unlike most Moms, I cannot recount in detail, or even in generalities, the birth stories of half of my children. And while I can blame my faulty memory on many of the black holes in my life, the integrity of my memory has nothing to do with the void in my brain where a beautiful story should reside. The stories are not there simply because I never experienced them. I did not conceive, carry in my body, or deliver three of my children. However, to be fair, I must mention that I have, in exchange, something most mothers do not. Meeting my babies for the first time took place when they were no longer infants, but people....more