Three Strokes to One: Social Situations

One of the metaphors that my diagnosing psychologist used to illustrate the exhaustion of being autistic in an allistic (that is, non-autistic) world is about paddling down a river. All of the neurotypical people are sitting in their kayaks paddling along with the current, but the autistic person is paddling through a current that runs in the other direction. For every one stroke the other kayakers paddle, the autistic kayaker has to paddle three strokes just to keep up....more

The lie I'll always believe as an introvert

In marriage counseling you might learn to avoid “never” and “always” statements when talking with your spouse. Good advice. Hearing you never or always do something is very discouraging, even if the other person didn’t mean it literally. Usually they just throw it out there to get their point across, but it usually leaves you feeling hopeless and maybe even hostile....more

My Daughter Is Her Own Girl

While my eyes catch the bubbly, outgoing gals enjoying their friends in the school pick up line, my 7th grade daughter is standing off to the side, alone. She is a total introvert. In many ways, her anti-social behavior breaks my heart because she has a lot to offer, but it doesn't seem to bother her. She shows up to school wearing capri pants with Van Gogh themed knee high socks, Dr. Who t-shirt, turquoise Converse, and Harry Potter buttons on her backpack strap. She has her own style. ...more
Great article, thank you!  How you 'hold space' for your daughter is just beautiful.  My ...more

The Plight of Introverts in an Extroverted World

Originally posted on

Introverts See All, Hear All and Hate ALL

I am an introvert.Nobody believes me.I can work a room. I was a politician in a former life, and a lobbyist and a PR person. I can entertain a table at an otherwise lethally boring rubber-chicken dinner.I can make a scene. I can get my point across.I can make an entrance and an exit.If I do any of that, I am exhausted. I retreat to my home and turn off the world.Ironically, it’s worse when I know, or am supposed to, the people in the room. Reunions are torture, family gatherings, oppressive. The more I care, the more it takes....more