Hope Balances the Sadness of Infertility

Infertility is a study in the art of disappointment. Those of you in the trenches know exactly what I'm talking about. You have to balance, constantly. You have to find the hope within the sadness. Plaster on a smile and get through that presentation after the bad phone call, attend that baby shower, or even sit in the waiting room of your OB-GYN's office where you're the only one who isn't pregnant. Eventually, you learn to let the disappointment roll off, to compartmentalize, to focus on the future instead of the present. You learn to only feel the hurt just enough. ...more
This is beautiful - and so true. I am in a different position in that we have a little one (from ...more

An Overview of My Infertility

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IUI: The Quiet Community

My wife and I have started the process to try to get pregnant with our first child. We have gone through all of the multitude of testing that our wonderful fertility specialist has recommended for us and are at the threshold of actually starting the insemination process. We are thankful for our insurance that helps defer a lot of the costs for the process and shake our heads at the lack of help offered to those that are in a similar boat (LGBT couples wanting to have a baby) and do not have domestic partners or fertility coverage available to them....more

Fertility is No Joke

I have been struggling lately and sadly for you, you have to hear about it. Just like every breakup that I have ever had, I have penned quite the letter to send them away...the boy and the feelings of anger, hurt, etc.. I never sent it, and sometimes I would keep it just to remind myself, in ten months is this gonna matter? Raw emotion that make you a little psycho but it gives you a clean slate to move on. ...more

And I thought my mouth filter sucked

I openly admit that I often don't have the best mouth filter. It's not that I say anything particularly bad or offensive, I just have a tendency to panic in certain social situations. I worry about saying something incredibly idiotic. Oddly enough, the more I worry, the more likely I am to spew some stupid verbal diarrhea that is 10 times more embarrassing than whatever I would've said in the first place. ...more

OMG, IUI, HCG, WTH: The Things They Don't Tell You About Insemination

OMG, IUI, HCG, WTH! Look at what you get to learn about when you mention the word fertility. You don’t learn these terms unless you’re older, have had a miscarriage, or are actively trying to get pregnant and it doesn’t work. I was not worried about getting pregnant. We were pregnant already. Then we miscarried twins and started hearing things like, “Well, at your age… you should really… call my doctor… blah blah.”...more
It was the most stressful and emotional time of my life. It is so hard....more

Shared risk programs

Many insurance companies do not cover fertility medications or the treatments.  Some people are super lucky and treatments are covered. For those who aren’t, there are financial options, but ultimately, it’s just plain expensive.  Clomid is fairly affordable, but once you get to injections and paying out of pocket, its expensive, and the chances for multiples increases. For us, we could not afford IVF for a long time, so we went with IUI’s which had less than 20% chance of success (for me personally).  IVF had an 80% chance of working.  My dad is a banker...more

TTC, AF, IUI, IVF, 2ww, BFN and BFP…and miracles….say what?

For those of us who live with infertility, its on our mind constantly.  Any break from that is a treat.  There were days when it only crossed my mind 50 times and that was a good day.  There were days where I was so focused on a particular treatment or waiting for my bloodwork that I couldn’t possibly be productive anywhere else.  I suppose that’s slowly how I lost track of me.  The calendar that used to be marked for events, vacations, plans with friends was now used to plan budgets, mark medications, and to try to guess when you may need to head to the doctor for ...more

IUI #2 is cleared!!

Well Ladies and Gents We are officially cleared for IUI #2 this week!!!Eeeek ♥I first wanted to say - Thanks for all the sweet comments and well wishes the other day about getting better! My antibiotics kicked in and now I'm feeling like a million bucks!!________________________________________________________...more