Me (the great unwashed) was invited to a stately home

In the olden days in rural England, communities used to be structured around the land-owning Lord of the Manor. The Lord would spend his silk-attired days gnawing through slabs of venison, boffing virgins and hunting, whilst the sackcloth-clad peasants from the village worked on his land and existed entirely on potatoes (blimey, they must have been a feisty lot, what with all those carbs and all). ...more

It's like a horror movie round at my house.....

I felt like Jack Nicholson from 'The Shining' this weekend (except that I haven't got a beard... well not much of one anyway). 'What are you banging on about?' I hear you cry. Well, it's like this; for some reason my daughter Izzy had taken a shine to a tricycle she found in the garage. Not only that, despite it being way too small for her, she had been manically riding it around in the garden just like the weird kid from 'The Shining'.   ...more

It's like a horror movie round at my house.....

I felt like Jack Nicholson from 'The Shining' this weekend (except that I haven't got a beard... well not much of one anyway). 'What are you banging on about?' I hear you cry. Well, it's like this; for some reason my daughter Izzy had taken a shine to a tricycle she found in the garage. Not only that, despite it being way too small for her, she had been manically riding it around in the garden just like the weird kid from 'The Shining'.   ...more

Supermoons and Super-tasty Salmon and Dill Fishcakes

Last month there was a significant date in the astrological calendar. Yep, it was the night of the 'supermoon'. To be honest, although it sounded good, I really didn't know what a supermoon was. A normal moon but with a cape? ...more

My dog smelt like a decomposing rat. I had to do something

Today I finally decided that I needed to give Naughty George a bath. After all, it had been a few years, and my five-year-old daughter Izzy had got to the stage where she wouldn't eat inside the house because he honked so much. ...more

LOL! It takes them ages to build up the scent of Eau de Muck, and then we destroy it in one ...more

Kids today don't know they are born. This is a waffly post

In the olden days, school was an entirely different affair to what it is today. ...more

Reason one: Why I should never try to be a Role Model

Being a parent is a responsible job, which is why I take it seriously some of the time. The way I see it, it's my role to ensure she is equipped with all the skills needed to turn her into a rounded adult (rounded as in 'skills' not 'body shape'). ...more

Bet you wish you had a picture of yourself as a baby feeding next to a rhino

Blimey, I'm just recovering from a bit of a houseful, what with my cousin Jane, her newborn son Mitchell, and a chum coming to stay for the weekend. And because I am kind like Gandhi (except with more hair, and fewer sheets), I had a treat in store for them. Before you say anything, yes I know! I am getting a bit like Paris Hilton with my hostess skills (except that I don't snog any old bloke just because they play basketball). Here goes........ ...more

Yesterday was a double-whammy of surprises

Blimey, if ever I was going to kill a fatted calf, it would have been yesterday. But luckily I didn't actually have a fatted calf, so the poor (albeit hypothetical,) bastard was saved. 'What the blazes are you going on about?' I hear you cry. ...more

I finally made contact with my daughter in Canada

I got up this morning all excited, hoping that the postman had delivered my Canon Powershot S95. I needn't have got my hopes up because he hadn't. That'll teach me to be a cheapskate then, and not select the 'express delivery' option whilst purchasing online. It's hard to recover from an anti-climax like that, but then something happened that instantly cheered me up. My computer was buzzing with the sound of an incoming skype call. It was Izzy, aka The Ginger Peril, ringing from Canada, where she was three days into a skiing holiday with her Dad, Steve. ...more