My Husband Told Me He's Gay... But That Didn't End Our Marriage

There was an argument.  Which was odd -- we didn't really have arguments.  Bickering?  Yes......but no arguing.It was a bad argument.  That made no sense to me.  His sudden vile anger.  He had been hateful for a few months -- when my dad was ill with cancer and after his passing.  Just mean really.  It was shocking.And then?"I'm gay".And my response?  "Well, that's fucking GREAT!"I packed up the kids and left for the night....more
thank you. this happened to my mom and she can't let gomore

The Constant

There's no "team" anymore.  I'm divorced.There wasn't really much of a "team" anyway -- but that's another sorted tale....more

The Two Different Boys

I have two boys that could not be more different.The Pleaser and The DebaterThe Pleaser is my youngest.Happy Go Lucky. Cracks some jokes. Loves life. Rolls with it all. He is the mayor of his school -- always has to know names/people. He wants to be friendly. He wants to make people smile. Even with me -- he wants to please. Follow the rules. Make the world smile. To me? He's still "little" at 9....still the baby....more

Halfway

I'm about to be 45. Didn't much care about 40....but 45? Seems odd....like....how am I 45?I'm halfway between 30 and 60.Halfway.Yep...that occurred to me. I'm right in the middle of 30 and 60. What the WHAT?30 was a lifetime ago...and? Not that great really. I was married - we see how that wentNo kids -- what the hell did I do with my time?Work -- hell I was working at the same placeHow I remember it? Unicorns and rainbows and.......ewwwwwww. No need to relive 30. Too bad my marriage didn't end around 35 as opposed to 43. But I digress....more

Mom Guilt

I'm fairly sure I gained "Mom Guilt" the minute I gave birth.  My oldest is 12, so I have a thorough understanding of it.But now?  I see it's gotten much worse.  Now that I'm divorced.Been divorced a year.  We were separated a year before that -- so two years down.I have neverending "Mom Guilt":...more

Divorce: How I'm Surviving (and Thriving)

It's been a year since it was final. The divorce.  The boys and I are a okay.  Really.  Swear. I remember when I first realized I was filing for divorce.  The sheer panic of two kids, a job, a house, etc. Alone in this ... all of it. It's daunting. You imagined you would be married and have a partner that would be there to raise the kids. Take care of things.  Be YOUR partner. ...more
alianora It hit me hard.....I was alone and parenting was all on me anyway.  Hang in there, friendmore

Finding me

I try to remember who I was before……Before marriage/kids/this life.I do remember, on my wedding day, I had anxiety.  About what, you ask?  Living with another person.  Having them in the same space with me….all the time.  THAT was what I was scared of that day.  No longer getting to be alone.  Can you imagine?  But it’s true…..I hadn’t had a roommate.  Nor lived in a dorm.  I lived at home for college, then moved into an apartment in a new city.Alone.  And I liked alone.  I was ok alone.  I enjoyed alone....more
I LOVE alone. I often consider just taking my computer and a few books to a local motel just to ...more

I wonder

I wonder sometimes. A lot of the time. About stuff……(odd).I wonder….....more

I'm not "this" mom....I'm "that" mom

Back to school.Back to routine.Back to seeing other moms.Back to reading everything from my mom friends on Facebook.I’m not the perfect mom.I’m not a super mom.I’m not able to be at the school all the time mom.I’m not a hyper-organized mom.I’m not a June Cleaver mom.I’m not a homework loving mom.I’m not a fundraiser loving mom.I’m not a good cook of a mom.I’m not a spotless housecleaning mom.I’m not “this” mom....more
My gosh, we sound so similar in our momming personalities. I'm that mom that avoids the PTA ...more

I don't know how I did it....no clue

It’s almost been 2 years, since I lost my daddy.2 years.It feels like 2 days.  Most of the time.  Others?  A lifetime ago……I go back and read my posts.  My blog.  My tweets.How the crap did I do that?How?I’m serious.  How?Working at the hospitalStaying at the hospital overnightTalking to doctorsTrying to manage all the medicinesMaking him eatHelping my familyManaging the testsScared out of my damn mind.  Barely keeping my head above water.How?I got no clue....more
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