Roll Tide

We were some lucky fools this past weekend.  Tickets to an ALABAMA home game.  Mom, the boys and me….all loaded up for some ROLL TIDE.I love football — we all love football.  Love. Some. Football.I’ve never in my life seen so many fans.  I’ve never in my life seen so many people dressed in school colors.  I’ve never in my life seen that many people cheering together.ROLL TIDE....more

Mom?

Mom, where’s my football?Mom, can I have a conversion van?Mom, can I take Auzzie to school?Mom, I want pizza.Mom, can we trade for a Camaro?Mom, I would watch YouTube for DAYS.Mom, there’s no WAY I’m wearing THAT shirt.Mom, can you PLEASE come have lunch with me at school?Mom, I wish we had a money tree.Mom, if you are working at home, can’t you just let us do school from home?Mom, it’s a short week, can we stay with you today?Mom, did you know the Boeing factory is HUGE and I want to visit?...more

Clarity

I’ve been quiet lately, on my blog.  I couldn’t write what I REALLY want to write.  It might just cause spontaneous combustion of people’s eyes.  My “Lifetime Movie” life.But then…there was a moment.  Monday of this week.A solidary, single moment.  A second, really.Of clarity.It all melted away.  The angst.  The worry.  The anger.  The anything.I got it.I GET it....more

Self

 I had a big ole talk with myself in the middle of the night.Yep…myself.Now, don’t say “holy smack, she’s flipped off the edge for SURE on this one!”.  Work with me…....more

Open Letter

Open LetterI was on vacation last week.  It was amazing.  Nice week away.  At the beach.  With my family.  With my boys.Time to think.  Time to be away from the mess.  Time to reflect.Reflecting on 16 years of marriage.  26 years of friendship....more

Entangled

I was thinking about this divorce driving to work.I’m entangled.Only way to describe it.Entangled.Finances House Vehicles Insurance Kids on and on and onA large knot of entanglement.  All balled up.  In a mess.  A complete and utter mess....more
KathieyKathiey  It is hard...and he is lying like a dog on all the documents for court.  I lost ...more

90 Days

It’s coming up on 90 days………………….since I filed for divorce.90 days.  3 months.  Winter to almost Summer.Takes 90 days, in this state, to be divorced.  90 days to be SURE you WANT to be divorced.  To think it over, I suppose.Yes, I DO want to be divorced, but it ain’t gonna happen in 90 days.  No way.  No how.  Not in this universe.  Nope.And?  I made a CALENDAR counting DOWN the 90 days.  Sad?  Because, well, it isn’t going to BE 90 days....more

The Truth

Interesting word.  Means about 15 million things....when you really think about it.  It's tricky.Truth as in the god's honest TRUTH. Truth as in full straight on HONESTY. Truth as in your personal driving force.  Your BELIEFS.Truth.Truth can be twisted...you change it to make your 'version' of your truth.  To make it all ok.  To make it all seem like it was a good idea.  To make you feel better....more
Nice to finally meet another lady who doesn't miss being married. I have to wait a year for my ...more

Apathy

I don’t care.  I’m trying not to care.   I can’t care anymore.I’m trying not to think about it.  How he WAS.  Because?  That isn’t him.   The WAS is what I thought.  But the WAS doesn’t exist.How he  IS.   Really IS.  Not what I thought he WAS.  But IS.  That’s what I have to think about it.  I have to embrace the IS…the WAS isn’t real.And?  Accept it....more

The Deal Breaker

Yes, I’m getting a divorce.No, it’s not fixable.Yes, I asked for counseling for 3 years.Then?  The Deal Breaker.Now….I can’t really divulge the Deal Breaker.  It was a Deal Breaker straight out of the gate.  Then?  The rest of the chips fell, making me not even DOUBT that it was a deal breaker.I thought, for some years,  ”yep, my marriage is crap” and “yep, it is what it is”.  I was willing to be sad, abandoned, un-loved…..until?  The Deal Breaker....more