After Devastation and Loss, My Rainbow Baby Is Here

Dear Ruby, If you would have told me a year ago that I would go a day without crying, I wouldn’t have believed you. If you would have told me a year ago that I would laugh without guilt, I wouldn’t have believed you. If you would have told me a year ago that one day, my heart would once again be filled with joy, I wouldn’t have believed you. ...more
I understand your loss! And one day hope to understand your or of having a rainbow! I write my ...more

Everything Changed Today: I'm Pregnant with Your Sibling, Ruby

Dear Ruby, Today I woke up and hugged the blanket Bubba knit for you, as I do every morning. Its softness reminds me of your cheeks, almost silky to the touch. I started today like any other day: I showered, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and picked out what to wear to work. While my routine looked the same, today was different. Today, I am pregnant....more
Tearing up as I read this, so touching, beautiful and inspiring.  Congrats on the wonderful news!more

In Her Defense, I Defined My Journey

So, I got dissed a few weeks ago....more
Wowzers. Those folks went HAM really quickly on you AND Katie. While social media can be a ...more

Do You Have Any Children?

When your child has died, sometimes even the most ordinary of circumstances can cause an ache in your heart like no other. Imagine - you're the new wife at coffee morning, the new person in the office, joining a gym or a club, anything in which you would encounter people that you've never met before, but in which you would be required to socialise. My name is Jane, what's yours?Nice to meet you Lisa.Oh you have an interesting accent, where are you from?...more

Please Don't Compare Your Grief to Mine

 Did you ever realise this? I never did until Finley died. I think it must be because losing a child is just too horrible to comprehend. Too disturbing to have a single word describe it. ...more

Processing Advice for Expectant Moms via Surrogacy

There seems to be no shortage of advice for visibly expectant moms. But what about those of us approaching parenthood from different places? As an expectant mom via gestational surrogacy, the tried and true pregnancy tomes are helpful (kinda, sorta, I guess) but there’s often no room to get to my questions, the ones specific to our situation. Having a baby that’s gestating several states away from you brings with it its own set of questions, worries and concerns that you, as a soon-to-be-mom, are doing everything right, or as right as can be. ...more
This was great. We are at almost 28 weeks now with a gestational carrier and I wish we had seen ...more

Lest We Forget

 So today is Remembrance Day - a day that has meant something since I was small. I can remember the ceremony we had for it in school in the first grade. They showed a video made by the Canadian War Amputees and it had a song called 'Never Again'. That has stuck with me. ...more

Mother and Child

 Mother and Child by Eugene FieldOne night a tiny dewdrop fellInto the bosom of a rose,--"Dear little one, I love thee well,Be ever here thy sweet repose!"Seeing the rose with love bedight,The envious sky frowned dark, and then... Continue reading at ...more

If I Could Change One Thing

 So far on NaBloPoMo, I've not been following the writing prompts at all. A lot of them don't really fit on this blog, and I've had a lot to say regardless. But today's prompt is one I felt I could really work with. The prompt is: If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?  For some people it would be to find their dream home, or dream job, or to have a body like Cindy Crawford...but for me there is only one thing I would ever change. ...more

Questioning Faith

 Most of the blogs I read are written by people who have an undeterred faith in God despite the loss of their babies. I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person in the world who questions life and God and religion and faith and everything since Finley died.... Continue reading at ...more