Painting Walls vs. Painting Toenails

Given my current state (7 months pregnant and counting), I’ve reached the point where I can no longer contort my body into odd positions in order to paint my toenails. So you can imagine the predicament I found myself in this weekend when I realized that the pedicure I got for my birthday last month was looking a little shall we say, less than perfect. (SIDE NOTE: I don’t want to even go into details about how I was able to make this discovery. For now, I’ll simply say that I have a couple of pulled muscles, and a small bruise on my bum.)...more

Baby Needs What?!

My husband and I spent the good part of Sunday afternoon “registering” for the baby yesterday.I guess you could have looked at the fact that we couldn’t even FIND the registry desk as some sort of omen that we were two clueless first-time parents, but a nice Babies ‘R’ Us employee pointed out the massive sign that said “Register Here,” and my husband and I were ready to start scanning....more


Thanks for following me from my newlywed status to my just plain clueless status. ...more

Panty Raid

A funny thing happened last week…I came home to find my husband knee deep in a pile of my unmentionables with a confused look on his face.“Um…What are you doing?” I asked. “Do you know how many bras, underwears and pairs of socks you have?” He asked in a somewhat incredulous tone. “Not exactly,” I hesitated. “A few.” “A few?” He stood up and brushed a pair of underwear off his pant leg. “You have a lot more than just a few! In fact, you own 25 bras, 50 underwears and 50 pairs of socks!”...more

The Leaning Sukkah of Flores

Today on I am going to walk you through what happens when the Flores Family attempts to make this for the first time: ...more

What NOT to Do When Throwing a Surprise 30th Birthday Party

As many of you may know, I decided to take it upon myself to throw my husband a surprise party for his 30th birthday two weeks ago. How did it go? Well, let’s just say that after the whole fiesta went down, I was able to come up with a list of what NOT to do when throwing a surprise party… Whatever you do, don’t throw a surprise 30th birthday party in the middle of August at a house that doesn’t have central air conditioning. Two letters: B.O. Nuf said....more

Grill Walk

"Honey, do you want to go for a walk over to our new house?"I knew something was up from the very moment my husband posed this question to me the other day, but I went along with it because I was curious.You see...Getting my husband to agree to walk the dogs with me is about as difficult as getting my husband to throw an empty milk carton into the trash...It's damn near impossible!...more

Yes, this is true...I never thought if it that way before!


Married to a Stereo Hog

After almost two years of marriage, I've recently come to a very serious conclusion...I'm married to a stereo hog. Similar to it's cousins, the TV hog or the bed hog, the stereo hog is seldom seen running wild in it's habitat. Lucky for you, the Clueless Newlywed has insider knowledge to this little hog's daily routine. Let's take a look at my most recent observations... ...more

Technically Communicating

I discovered an interesting phenomenon this week that I just had to share with you all...My husband and I literally talk non-stop 24/7/365. ...more


I neber even thought about the effects of married couples who met online! Of ...more

Lost and Found Pattern

The last time I blogged about an item going lost and being found again, it was in reference to my husband losing his wedding ring at a dog park, only to find it again the next day. ...more

Silly Husband Sickness

It's become apparent that some kind of sickness crud is going around right now. Heck, just checking my Twitter and Facebook updates shows that most everyone is either getting sick, is sick, or getting over being sick! ...more