Finding a Way Home

When I heard about Robin William’s passing last night, I wasn’t surprised and shocked to hear the news as most people were. Instead, what I felt was an immense amount of sadness and a deep connection to a man I had never met and all I could do was shake my head and say a prayer. My heart immediately knew why he had left this world because my life, like so many millions of other peoples’ lives, have dealt with, and been affected by, depression and mental health issues. ...more

Things I Wish You Knew About My Mental Illness

This one goes out to the naysayers, the ones who insist that mental illness is "all in your head," that it can be "snapped out of." This one goes out to the people who can't fathom the darkness and can't understand the internal pain. Here are the things I wish you knew about mental illness. Here are the things I wish you knew about me and people like me, because we walk the streets beside you. We sit beside you in the subway. And we're your friends and family members....more
#StopTheStigma   Gracias for sharing, for being so honest and eloquent on a subject we want to ...more

Life As A Headcase: I Can Feel The BPD Getting Ready to Blow

I figured I'd call this series "Life As a Head Case," not so much to say I am a wackjob (although, technically, I guess I am) but more or less to push past that and to acknowledge that I do have mental health issues, accept them and don't let it define me...even though it appears to. Reverse psychology maybe?Whatever.  It works for me....more

Society’s Sneaky Scapegoat Game

Every society has a tradition of a scapegoat, a person or a group of people to blame and punish for the sins of that particular culture....more

Challenging Stigmas & an Imperfect System: My Struggle With Depression

For the first time in five years, I have health insurance, thanks to the Affordable Care Act. I’m often having to remind myself that this means I can now access medical treatment, something that has only happened on a few occasions over the last 60 months. I’ve been grateful to Planned Parenthood for my yearly exams that fit within my tight budget. I was happy about the clinic I found an hour from my home that charged on a sliding scale. Unfortunately, with two hours of driving to get there, both the time and the gas spent made that option not feasible. Thankfully, I’m fairly healthy and am not the type to run to the doc for a little cold. When you are without insurance, you learn to make do....more
4lala on Blogher again? Look at you rockstar!!!more

Helping Children Cope and Keeping Depression at Bay

There are two extreme ways some people seem to view life. One says, “Life is long, painful, and we all die in the end.” Wow, that’s a downer. Are you sure you want to keep reading? Well, how's this? “Life is a sweet, melodious journey filled with love and joy.” Much better. But what about the truths in between? What about the balance of dark and light?...more

Memoir Snippet, Mental Illness "Starry, Starry Night"

It was a clear October night.  My sisters and I piled into the old red Chevy with our stepfather Dan, and headed outside of town for the hospital where my mother was in the mental ward.  None of us speak; we hardly ever spoke in those years.  Dan kept his eyes on the road, chain-smoking Dorals.  I stared through the glass, street lights passing over my hooded eyes.  As we neared the outskirt, the sky suddenly opened out into space.  I thought of nothing.  I didn’t think of my mother.  I didn’t think of the speed of change.  I stared up into the s...more

My mother, the witch

My mom, dad, niece and nephew were supposed to come up to celebrate Spock’s birthday last weekend. Then, about 11:15 as they were driving north on I75, my mom had the mother of all panic attacks and cried and shook and was so nuts that my dad turned the car around and took her home....more

The Art of Bipolar

Writing has saved me. I cannot tell you how healing its medicine is, and what a release it is to be able to let go of all of these dormant, rotting thoughts left inside for far too long. I know that words have saved me before, when I was younger - back when I would relay my suicidal sufferings through stream-of-consciousness writings, or stay up all night, writing my simple poetry. Those simple poems were my simple savior. For whatever reason, writing is the form of art that forces its way through, demands to be seen, and accepts no resistance that I may put up against it....more

Excerpts From Diaries Past - Tuesday December 28, 2010

This is a series that I will add to every once-in-a-while. I will post old diary entries, modified slightly so as not to reveal me or my family's identity or exact location,etc....more