One of the things about midlife is that holidays are starting to feel different.  There's not that level of excitement I remember so clearly from years gone by.  By this time, loved ones and friends are coming and going and longtime traditions are changing or disappearing altogether.  Like in my life:

I've never been a woman who struggles with aging. At 30, people seemed to expect me to regret my lost youth, and I didn't. At 40, people seemed to expect me to have some kind of crazy crisis, and I didn't. I'm 45 years old and I like being 45 years old. I'm looking forward to 50. Or am I? Though I've never had that aging angst that I read about in women's magazines and women's blogs, I have to be honest and say that there is one thing about getting older that's starting to really bug me - the loss of menstruation.

I know it sounds weird but lipstick was my favorite Halloween costume.  I didn't care what I dressed up as so long as lipstick was involved.  See, I grew up during the 50's when the standard, at least what I saw on my friends' mothers and women in the movies was really, really, really RED lipstick.  And in those days, little girls didn't get to wear make-up under any circumstances, except of course -- on Halloween.Here are some of the costumes I had in my young hey-day:

Once upon a time, there was a woman who wanted to be a mother more than anything.  But she never found the right man and had no luck with the scientific alternatives.  Finally, she decided to adopt despite the overwhelming odds of being single, a minority, having limited resources and family who tried to talk her out of taking this step at 48 years old.  We call this woman "Meno Mom" and she is my younger sister.

There's a lot of speculation lately about what Americans talk about at the kitchen table.  Well my kitchen table has become the hub for our discussions about the state of the economy and the impact on our family.  You won't find any political rhetoric and homey colloquialisms in our dialogs.  No, we talk about real-life issues like the risk of my 52-year old cousin losing her job due to corporate downsizing.  To protect her identity, I'll call her "Jane Six-Pack".

Hot flash!  News flash!  September is American Menopause Month!  Depending on your perspective this may or may not be something to celebrate.  But the fact that there's a month in the year dedicated to the change of life acknowledges the many women struggling through a transition that hits us all differently.  

This week I had the great opportunity to talk with author Mary Ellen Geist.  Several years ago Mary Ellen was described by the New York Times as the:

I've been thinking about writing on this topic for a while.  I'm over 50 and single and have a lot of friends in the same boat.  And what I've found is that dating over 50 is just insane!  What I thought I knew --and mastered fairly well in my younger years -- doesn't seem to translate into the dating scene of today.  So what do you do when you're single and want to meet someone interesting and emotionally available?  Or is that really an option for women in midlife?     

Today, when I returned home, my children told me the sad news before I even took off my shoes. Chicago native Bernie Mac, the large, dark, and lovable funny man, died this morning at age 50.

I don't know about you but I'm on a mission to reclaim my waistline.  Somewhere in the middle of midlife it's all but disappeared -- the booby prize, I suppose, for making it through menopause without losing my mind.  As if the hot flashes weren't bad enough. Along the way to whittle down and lose a stubborn 10 pounds gained during the big "M", I've checked out exercise books, fitness programs, joined the "Y" and more.  But I've had a lot of fits and starts in my exercise strategy.  

Throughout my life, I've had some great role models.  I attribute my getting through some of life's toughest times to those people I looked up to.  One of them was my grandmother.  Gram was in midlife when I was born -- just a few years younger than I am now.  So I got to know her when she was showing up in the world as the person she really wanted to be.

I've been thinking all week about what I wanted to write to you in this--my first post as a contributing editor on midlife issues at Blogher. Oh, I've got a boatload of topics I'm dying to get your opinions on.