No, I'm not referring to hiring a housekeeper or a personal chef, I'm talking about finding a professional to talk to. A therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, etc. Last week was a rough one for me. I had been dressing my face in a smile and plowing through the myriad of things that were on my plate....more
This isn't how I hoped things would turn out. We didn't get our miracle. Yesterday, we said goodbye to Baby #2.I was hopeful. I really was. Not perfectly faith-filled, but I prayed and believed God could do this. And I was asking Him to. But things didn't turn out that way....more
One Halloween two years ago I was sad. Not ‘regular sad’ as Four Year Old would put it, but broken and shattered sad. In what was probably a subconscious attempt to fake it until you make it, I’ve decided I may as well look good. Defiantly I put on my bleeding red dress, a short dark wig, a pair of heels and some fake lashes and rode the subway to work as Betty Boop. The only one in costume, hiding two secrets behind it. How I really look and how I really feel....more
Not that any week when you are dealing with infertility, TTC, or an uncertain pregnancy is easy, but this week has been another challenging week to get through. This is almost starting to feel normal to me: the agonizing wait....more
The story of Angela Maier struck fear in the hearts of pregnant women everywhere this weekend. Over three years ago, in deep grief after experiencing three miscarriages, she poisoned both her pregnant sister-in-law and friend, causing them to lose their pregnancies. She recently confessed to the crime stating that she couldn't fathom watching their children grow up while hers were dead. The two women are currently pregnant again, hence the timing of the confession, and Maier has a three-year-old child.
In any unoccupied moment this weekend, I have been having a running dialogue with God/monologue with myself over this whole pending miscarriage situation. Trying to make some sense. Trying to come to a bottom line where I can find peace.It's not really coming easily to me....more