Miscarriage - The Silent Empty Box

To be filled with life is something.  To be pregnant with a growing little miracle of science and nature in your belly is beautiful.  To lose a pregnancy is sad.  The feeling is surrounded with so many emotions.  Guilt, loss, nothing, emptiness, aching, breaking, bending into shadows dark.  I had to take a break today and submerge myself in some creative work.  I wanted to shake this feeling of empty.  Shake it loose from the empty box it resides in now.  Like a box with nothing inside.  Just invisible strings connecting bac...more

A Tough Way to Realize You're Childfree

The childfree know that there are lots of ways we come to this decision. Many of us know early in life, and many come to the decision over time for a variety of reasons....more

Reflections On Time

They say that time heals all wounds, but this is not true. Time changes our responses, our vulnerability, our ability to see things from a different angle. But the wound is always there....more

Two years after losing a child, still tormented by my secret

I am pregnant, about 8 months along and I love to feel my hands around my growing belly. I love to feel her move, every new part of this pregnancy makes me giddy. Everything is good, for the first time in my life I do not feel the least bit anxious, guilty or depressed. I feel no stress only blind confidence. I am so happy I could burst. When I get into my doctors office she says "you're not pregnant. I'm sorry there must have been a mistake on our part." I wake up feeling my flat belly, feeling so alone it hurts....more

The Monthly Rollercoaster

I'm not ready to use the word "infertile" - because I don't know that for sure. But as a 41 year old lesbian, my journey is very similar, but also quite different....more

Move Over Abortion, Miscarriage = Jail Time

Apparently I am causing quite the stir online tonight. However, I will not apologize for this ...more

Loss

I originally posted this on my blog as part of the prompt for The Red Dress Writing ClubI could never have imagined that it would happen to me. Never in a million years. Not me. Not ever....more

Things Not To Say to a Woman who has just lost a Baby

After losing Baby Teysko, we received a huge amount of sympathy cards and emails, and people were incredibly gracious, kind, and understanding. There were a few well-meaning souls who really shouldn't have said anything, though, because even though their intentions were to be helpful, they were some of the most callous and stupid things I've heard....more

Preparing for a Stillbirth

I hang out a lot on the grief board of a pregnancy website.  Not as much as I used to, though.  When we first lost Baby T, I was on that board every hour, checking messages, finding others who had gone through the same thing, reassuring myself that this pain could be dealt with, lived with, and that I could move on....more
I signed up just so that I could comment on this post. Thank you so much for sharing your ...more

Eat. Pray. Love. EMM Style

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