We all have to make some time in our day to do something we love, something that fills us up beyond parenting.Making time for the things we love takes planning and some courage.Planning to carve time in an already full day. Courage to trust ourselves and value ourselves enough to make the time.As mothers, we should encourage each other in figuring these things out. Encourage is defined as inspiring courage. Connecting with other mothers is a way to inspire courage in each of us....more
During my daughter's first year of life, I made the decision to step back from my old blog. I was struggling to manage new motherhood and this writing-on-the-Internet hobby I loved for so many years had become something I was failing to do—like all of the other things I was failing to do. So I quit.But the siren song of blogging proved too much to resist....more
Recently, I had a conversation with an acquaintance, a fellow mom, about how she would like to move her young child to a new daycare. "But my reasons...” she hesitated a moment, "They aren’t good. They're selfish."When she listed her reasons, they didn't sound selfish. Rather, they sounded like they would improve her quality of life and, by extension, her family’s. As a hardcore advocate of eradicating mommy guilt, her reasons seemed totally... well, reasonable and not something she should feel conflicted over. Case closed, right?But I recognized the sentiment....more
It has not escaped my notice that women with children often express regret about their performance as mothers.
I remember coming back from my own (partially paid) maternity leave, and for two months, driving to drop off and pick up at two different day care centers, doing my work, running the household, rocking the baby, mothering the four-year-old, and feeling like a total failure at everything I did. (Yes, I had a husband at home, but he left early for his office, and came home late, getting in his hours and pushing for professional advancement.)
Do you suffer from it? Mommy guilt that is... I know that I do from time to time... and lately it's been more yes than no when it comes to Mommy Guilt. Could I be doing more? Am I doing the best that I can do for Lil Man? Should I be doing this different or that different? Does he respond this way because of what I'm doing (or not doing)? And I know it's time that I step back, and just take a moment to breathe....more
Comparison. This word has the power to suck the joy out of motherhood. I experienced it for the first time shortly after I had my firstborn. While I was in the thick of feeling clueless as a first time mom, I started to research what I should be doing during each stage and when I could expect him to hit various milestones. As friends had babies around the same time, I found myself comparing my baby’s progress with theirs.
Go back to work or stay home? Daycare or nanny? Cloth or disposable diapers? Should you breast feed or use formula? Moms have lots of choices…and with their decisions often comes a little "mommy guilt"From the day my son was born to today as a mommy to a soon to be five year old little boy the "mommy guilt " is still strong as ever. I often struggle with the questions of am I doing the right thing for him or whether a decision I make for myself will affect his little life negatively. ...more
My life was crazy busy when my kids were very young. Working out was the last thing on my mind during those days when I was chasing a toddler around the house while nursing a newborn (and yes, by my second child I had perfected the art of nursing while standing, walking, cooking, shopping--you name it). I hardly had time to finish any of my meals before I had to clean up a spill or grab an escapee from a high chair, and I was routinely awake for more than 20 hours a day. I was always exhausted and haggard....more