Putting Myself Out There

I cannot be the only one...who sometimes gets lost in her daily routines, so lost that when the frenzy finally calms down for the day, and she thinks about the world outside of her harmonious home life, she isn't really sure where she fits in anymore. I dream big about the ways I am going to put myself out there for the world, let my talents shine, but then something happens....more

“My God! How Did She Get Herself Into That Mess?”

I am conundrum. A rather outmoded sort of woman, ridiculed by modern career women, vilified by the earth’s prophets of doom and sanctified by the religious right. I was the least likely candidate to have a lot of children.I mean, I had never even held a baby before my first born.You would think having nine children would have turned me into a frazzled wreck with a figure like the Pillsbury Dough Boy and a brain gone to mush, but I remain quite articulate, with a quirky sense of humour, standing at 5’1” and weighing in at 106 lbs....more

At a loss for words...

When my mother was first diagnosed with dementia, she had word-finding and organizational issues; now she has people-placing and event-remembering ones.I spent a mere 20 minutes Sunday talking to my mother before she was called, early, to dinner at the memory-care facility where she lives. The first ten minutes of conversation were so muddied, I literally grabbed a pad of paper and a pen and started jotting notes, trying to piece together what my 81-year-old mother was saying....more

Praising a woman of excellence...

As my siblings and I rifled through my mother's belongings this weekend, distributing what held value to each one of us, I searched for something I had made myself. Two books. One titled Focus on the Father; the other titled Praising a Woman of Excellence. Each was a tribute to my parents I created on behalf of their children and grandchildren, who contributed something, a writing, a picture, a hand print. Back in 1999, back when I had more time to be creative, I had made books with my own children and those in our home-school support group....more

Memories my mother never mentioned...

Between the ages of 6 and 19, I moved often. When I was in fourth grade, my family lived in one house for just three months before abruptly moving to another for an equally brief period. The reasons we moved were different---my fourth grade year, for instance, high rent necessitated the first move while the death of the landlady required the next---but the results were the same: We became adept at packing. We also got into the habit of not fully unpacking....more

Poetry Night

Mama I saw her standing alone, In the middle of the room,one baby at her leg, the other on her hip.One baby cries, loud, inconsolable sobs bursting from her tiny lips. Another small one joins her,with a higher pitch that finds the breaking point of glass, shattering the woman’s nerves.Three other children roam this house;A six year old chases the seven year old down the hall,yelling, “Give it back to me.”And the seven year old yells back, “NO!”...more

This Is A Birth Story

I’d like to tell you a birth story.  But this is not a story about a baby.  This is a story about a woman.Megan, my little sister, has had two babies and I was in the labor and delivery room for both births, a girl, named Vivi, and a boy, named Milo.  While their births were, like most births, little miracles, it was while watching my sister labor that I saw the rarest of beauties....more

Sexy, Sexy Social Security

There is nothing remotely chic or glamorous about being poor and elderly.  Yet women are far more likely than men to find themselves in that exact situation.  Women make less and live longer, so smaller resources  have to stretch to cover  longer years....more

A Mother's Love & A Home Gone

You never know how something will affect you. I have shared about my mother's passing last year and feeling weird since May 28, 2012 when she died. Not feeling like myself sometimes and feeling just numb. Well though some things have been great, her missing has affected me more than ever in the past few months. I thought I was at least moving forward, but as the Priest and Ministers have shared with me, the first year is getting over the shock and then you begin to heal....more

On Losing a Daughter . . . to College

It should be easier, to send child number two to college. Reverse separation anxiety, child leaving parents, not vice versa. This should have worked itself out of my system, shouldn’t it?            I should rejoice that she is departing for her life’s grand adventure, especially since she wasn’t the easiest child to parent. There was sass, a season of dishonesty. A lack of enthusiasm for chores, a regular pile of clothing to press....more