"Grief, when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be," writes Joan Didion in her deeply felt memoir The Year of Magical Thinking. Her book chronicles the aftermath of her husband’s unexpected death, and in it she also writes of the passing of her parents. "I understood the inevitability of their deaths," she explains. "I had been expecting (fearing, dreading, anticipating) those deaths all my life."
I look for signs from my dad every day, and I pray for him to tell me that he is watching over me every night. While it may be farfetched, I need to know that he is out there somewhere and not simply gone forever....more
Most of my day was spent on holiday-related pursuits - listening to Christmas music, shopping for gifts, enjoying a gingerbread latte, wrapping presents... that sort of seasonal goodness. I was happy and busy... yet it was bittersweet, for punctuating my joy were flashes of grief as my thoughts kept returning to the many, many families who lost loved ones yesterday in the horrific events in Newtown, Connecticut.
I've discovered that it is much easier to mourn a cat than it is to mourn a biological father you never met.
I don't know how to do this and I want there to be some sort of rules, some program to follow, and once you follow that program you get to be done with the mourning and proceed to the living with grief until you're healed or as healed as you're going to be part.
Almost exactly two years ago, my Dad suffered his first in a series of 'stroke-like-events' that would continue to occur at almost regular intervals.We thought we were going to lose him. He couldn't speak, he suddenly couldn't walk, and he couldn't make sense of anything around him. We had no idea how to deal with this sort of thing, having never experienced it before, and really had no idea what to expect....more
This post is written to reflect the thoughts and feelings of a dear friend who was recently widowed. The statements are hers with some minor editing on my part. Not every sentiment expressed applies to every widow or widower or to every situation, but they are all reasons to stop and think. She began her message to me with the words: "What NOT to do when a friend loses a spouse."1. Don't start out by asking how he died and especially not where he died....more