A Desk Of My Own


Take care of your needs, and everyone else's, too

You may read the title of this post and think, hey, I've got enough to take care of for myself without having to worry about everyone else. And to a point, I grant you that it's completely okay to be selfish sometimes, especially when you're feeling overstretched and your body is telling you to slow down a bit. I'll be the first person to recommend a night at home alone relaxing and recharging to get me time - why would I go take something else on when I can just take care of myself for a few hours?...more

Prioritizing having fun - can I do it without feeling selfish?

My cousin said to me Sunday about my midlife sabbatical from working: “If I were you, I’d just have fun and do stuff you haven’t been able to do all these past years.” It hit a chord. I’d been prioritizing volunteering for charities as my next step. I’ve been feeling a need to “do good” for a long time. But I’d also been depriving myself of pursuing having fun for myself. Why? Do a lot of moms do this? All I know is I’ve been putting my daughter, family, and job’s needs above my own for a long time. But I immediately I heard conflict in my head. It felt self-centered....more

ain't nobody happy, right? :)

Seriously, though, I think it's vital that everyone has time ...more

What Men Want

Fellow women, there are some things we absolutely, categorically have to stop doing to our men. This is especially true on turbo-charged, high mess-up days like Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Mothers’ Day and any other day we arbitrarily feel the clueless species should recognise as special.“What do you mean you don’t know what day it is?  Today is the anniversary of the first time  you said ‘I Love You’ to me.  I thought that day was as special to you. Obviously not.  Maybe all you care about is ..."[Cue argument.]...more

"I Don't Need A Man" - I'm Calling BS On This Catch Phrase

Over the past three years since I got divorced, it is by far THE most popular statement I’ve heard from women: “I don’t need a man”.  And it’s been said with passion.  Power.  Ownership.  As if it’s been EARNED.   ...more
I totally agree!!! I desire to be with a man!!!more

Our Needs Are Not A One Time Deal

Driving to work at 5 am...in the dark...definitely gives me time to think, meditate, pray and enjoy my morning tumbler of coffee.  I actually don't mind being on the road at that time of the morning.  Even with the traffic during that pre-dawn hour, it's actually pretty peaceful.  Sometimes I listen to the radio and scan different stations and listen to preaching and/or worship music while other times I turn the radio off and enjoy the silence....more

Give a little bit...

My family asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year. Hmmm, hmmmm, hmmmmmmm!! I have not a clue. There is certainly nothing I “need” this year. A new winter coat might be nice since my current vintage coat needs a few new buttons, but honestly I think that’s exactly what makes it cool. I could always use a new sweater, piece of costume jewelry or book. But I tend to get stuck on the “need” part of the holidays....more

Delete: The Key to Surviving the Holidays Semi-Sane & Somewhat Solvent

HearthSong is having an incredible sale.  Lands End has free shipping.  Amazon knows just what I love to read.  Sephora can make me beautiful and send me free samples, too.  Airlines are begging me to fly and hotels are almost willing to pay me to stay.Every penny I have is allocated before my automatic deposit hits my account....more

Taught to Serve Man: Struggling with Relationship Compromise

I was raised in a traditional household by a stay-at-home mom and a dad who expected his dinner on the table when he got home from work. There are, of course, many often-discussed pluses and minuses to "love, honor, and obey," and a boatload of passionate opinion to go with them, but much like Christina in Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the thing I was most certain of growing up was what I didn't want. I didn't want a traditional relationship like my parents'. ...more

Agreed, it's just quite embarrassing to me that I got entangled in the first place and then ...more

Destress Your Holidays by Considering the Needs of Your Family and Friends

  The holidays are supposed to be all about family and friends.  By taking a moment to think intentionally about the needs of those you love can eliminate a bundle of stress during this stressful season!  Those needs act as a filter for what you allow into your holiday ...more