The Last of the Firsts

 A year ago today my family and friends attended Finley's funeral. I had never been to the funeral of a child before; in fact I've been to very few funerals in general. It was very sad and it was very hard. Finding the words to share about a person that you love so much but feel like you barely got a chance to know is very hard. Funerals usually speak of the things that a person liked to do, their accomplishments, words from people they loved. We never got to know who Finley would.... ...more

Naples Revisited

A lot of you probably already know that I took a trip to Naples last week. I planned this trip ages ago and while I thought of writing about it, I don't think I did because I didn't want to dwell on just exactly what this trip would mean. When it became apparent to me that we were definitely going to move forward with our move to Canada, I knew in my heart that I had to go back to the place where Finley was born, because once we live overseas, the opportunity just wouldn't be there....more

Nine Months at Christmas (and Link Up)

Today I should have a 9 month old baby boy at home. We should be in Italy. I imagine that he would be crawling and getting into everything while we are trying to get all of the last minute preparations for Christmas complete. There would be a mound of presents under the tree that took ages to wrap because of the sweet boy who keeps distracting me. Steve's family would probably be with us by now, slightly disbelieving of how much Finley has grown. We'd be getting ready for Christmas Eve....more

And It Builds...

I'm lacking inspiration for what to write today. I've been feeling like crap all day. My head just will not stop pounding.I just decided to sit and watch my ultrasound videos. I have no idea why - lord knows it only brings back happy memories that I now wish I hadn't taken for granted. I know that watching the videos just make me sad, even though at the time seeing Finley on screen was always exciting.I'm tired. So tired.......more

Remembering Finley

 Today, I want to share a journal entry I made over at Babycentre while I was pregnant. I had the best of intentions to try and keep a pregnancy journal, but it just never happened. I so wish that I had now. This is the only entry I ever made. ...more

Missing You Right Now

  Dear Finley, I feel like it has been too long since I’ve written, but at the same time there’s not much new that I can think of to say. I never stop missing you. I still think of you every minute of every day. I can’t seem to quite make peace with the fact that you aren’t here yet, I don’t know if I ever will. I hope that as more time carries on, that things will feel more calm and that perhaps I will find a reason that I can accept for why things are the way that they are. ...more

Capture Your Grief 2012

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The Significance of a Date

If you’ve ever experienced the death of a baby, or perhaps the death of anybody close to you, do the dates associated with the loss jump out at you and stop you in your tracks?Recently I’ve been working on catching up on some data entry in work, and I came across several papers that had Finley’s birthday or the day he died written or stamped on them. Seeing those dates was a complete shock. Like many things relating to Finley, my breath was gone. My heart started beating very fast and I needed to take time after each one to reflect on things and then collect my thoughts........more

My Updates from Finley's Birth and the Days Shortly After

Before Finley was born, I remember being determined not to post labour updates on facebook. I wanted to surprise the world with a photo of my boy and a 'Meet Finley born such and such date at such and such time weighing such and such.' I had it all planned out....more

Finley Helps Save Lives

Sharing Finley with the world is my way of trying to make a difference. Whether it be to bridge the gap with other babylost parents so they feel less alone, reminding people not to take their loved ones and especially their children for granted, and for pregnant women to take notice of Finley's story and use it as a reason to follow their instincts. It is so important for women to take notice of kicks and movements when they are pregnant, and to always get checked out if they are afraid something is wrong....more