Take Your Daughter to Work

My dad is a photographer. Nowadays he shoots mostly digital, but when I was a kid he used black and white film and printed the photos in our kitchen. Looking back on that time, I remember feeling excited on the nights he would set up this makeshift darkroom, like there was a wild adventure about to happen inside my little Manhattan apartment. He would hang thick, black curtains over the kitchen door and windows and a long clotheslines across the center of the room to hang his photos on while they were drying....more

NORMAL.......Do you Really want to be Normal?

BEING NORMAL…..I don’t want to be….. I am so glad I am not “normal….” For normal to me embraces most people….and truly I don’t want to be like most people….never did….never was…..I simply want to be ME….and the ME I am I simply love…..This me has never quite lived the normal life one is supposed to live……Most normal people simply don’t seem all that happy to me….for they are busy trying to be “normal…” Most people do not pursue their dreams….Instead they pursue the status quo…..2 kids, a suburban house, 2 cars, a dog….and eventually a divorce……To do the whole thing over agai...more

Feeling Weak

I don't feel strong. I feel so small in this huge world, like me and my life and my hopes and my fears mean nothing to anybody. I can see life passing by and I just feel stuck. I don't know how to move forward anymore. I don't know how I'm supposed to be able to have a life where my son isn't....more

The Internet - A Bereaved Parent's Worst Nightmare?

The internet. I often find myself wondering how we ever lived without it. And yet, sometimes it is an extremely painful reminder of how things would be if Finley didn't die.My facebook currently has an ad that says 'Beaming Baby - Give Your Baby the Best Start to Life' and also 'Pampers - Picture a Better Future. Vistaprint do an ad as well for a free personalised calendar - always complete with different photos of incredibly cute babies....more

Do You Have Any Children?

When your child has died, sometimes even the most ordinary of circumstances can cause an ache in your heart like no other. Imagine - you're the new wife at coffee morning, the new person in the office, joining a gym or a club, anything in which you would encounter people that you've never met before, but in which you would be required to socialise. My name is Jane, what's yours?Nice to meet you Lisa.Oh you have an interesting accent, where are you from?...more

Finding a New Normal Through the Grief

When I saw this posted on facebook, it was as though somebody had taken the words right out of my mind. I often find myself wondering who I am now. I know that I'm not the same person as I was before Finley died, or even before I got pregnant and dedicated my life to being a mother.So who am I now? I'm not sure....more

Percentages

Less than 2 percent of people get pregnant on the pill.  Ding, that’s our Miracle Makenzie.  Less than 2 percent of children get diagnosed with severe Accute Pancreatitis and mutliorgan failure. Ding, that’s Makenzie.  Less than 5 % of these cases get psuedopsysts that don’t drain independently.  Ding ding ding…that is Makenzie Christina Shirey.  To say that she defies the odds is an understatement. When every doctor, nurse, and Medical Director whispers they’ve never seen a case quite like your child, it is not a  percentage you want to be in....more