I Dated the Man With the Smallest Penis in the World

A bunch of years ago, I dated a guy with the smallest penis in the world. It was about the size of a new born baby's thumb. I take that back- the size of my current thumb. You get the picture. It was fucking small. So small, I’m not sure he can have sex. We dated for 5 months, and never had sex. During the first few months, I was so happy to have a boyfriend (desperate) that I didn't think twice about his small penis. Again, mostly because we weren't having sex. I received the occasional clumsy finger-bang- never even a 'how-do-you-do' do the clitoris. The poor guy had no idea what he was doing. I didn't really know what to do with the whole situation, so I just pretended to have orgasms from the shitty finger-ramming he performed. ...more
Great blog. I am not most experienced woman to comment, but have seen some real variations. ...more

Penis Envy? Not Me!

I don't have a penis, but I live with three of them.The littlest one is always out and about.Always.Since I do not own one myself, I have this irrational fear the little boy is going to cut his penis off in some tragic accident.I mean, there it is right out in front, waiting for disaster.The following scenarios run through my mind as he runs around the house.Door closes on it...chop!Safety scissors slip...chop!Flying leap off the wall unit...chop!...more

Working the pole

Maybe I'm one of those writers who writes things into reality. If so, that could be pretty cool, and I can expect to win the lottery even though I never buy a ticket. Or maybe the handypenis has simply become ubiquitous through no fault of my own. Doesn't matter, really, except that it happened again -- today, after I just wrote about it yesterday....more


I’D LIKE A CHOCOLATE SHAKE AND A PENIS TO GO PLEASEPosted on November 6, 2013 by Magical Mystical MiMiNa...more

Does Penis Size Really Matter?

It is the age old question. Does size matter? When we hear it, most of us immediately think about penis size. Many men are so hung up on penis size that even in early dating stages will provide commentary on their member....more
All of the responses to the issue of penis size assume that the female is the object of sex; it ...more

Is that a spine in your nubby penis or are you just happy to see me?

Did y’all know the human male used to have...more

My 4th of July gift to you

The story about a water boatman’s noisy penis is NOT about a gondolier’s schlong, more is the pity. It just so happens that the water boatman is a very, very loud insect....more

The Penis Epiphany

Yesterday, while watching one of Allstate's amazing and super funny mayhem commercials, I had an epiphany: penises are ugly. I mean, really, when's the last time you saw a bumper sticker or t-shirt that said "penises make me smile," or saw a commercial with a woman looking at a man's penis like just the very sight of it is making her wild with desire? You haven't, because penises are ugly. ...more
Women are sex objects. Men are success objects. Mothers care more about their daughter's ...more


FOR THE THINKING PENIS IN THE AGE OF TECHNOLOGYby Tracey Jackson   So we have another one.  Just when I was going to write about my iPhone obsession we are literally faced with Weinergate. One more politician who lets his member do the thinking for him bites the dust....more

Cookies & Nuts: A Sex Education Lesson

“I got a bagina! I got a bagina! I got a bagina! I got a bagina!” Is all I heard Matthew, the three year old sing in an Elmoesque sing songy voice for about 30 minutes straight, hiding myself from laughing out loud (because I really am a 12 year old boy trapped in a 40 year old woman's body), I politely told him that “no you do not have a vagina you have a penis”. I am trying to teach my children the correct verbiage so they are comfortable with their sexuality, unlike me who is so uncomfortable with it even after popping out two kids it’s ridiculous....more