Gifted children and the overachievement fallacy

"All it takes to be gifted is hard work. Those gifted kids are such high achievers; that’s why they do so well in school. Their parents push them; that’s how they’ve gotten so far." Comments like these are pervasive, and overheard in schools, neighborhoods, and online discussions....more

5 Tips for Recovering From Perfectionism

As I headed to Albany, New York, last week to film a 90-minute public television special as well as six hours of additional DVD content that would be included as part of the PBS fundraising pledge package, I knew I was walking into a situation that was completely out of my comfort zone. I so wanted to feel like I was going to just nail it on that television set, that I would get it all perfectly right on my first try, that I would wow everyone with my professionalism and TV chops, that everyone would come to me later and say, “Lissa, you’re a natural!”...more
This reminded me of my first boss who really traumatized me! I was 21 and in my first job out of ...more

Party Planning

A few small reminders to a perfectionist self when feeling anxious about the impending arrival of friends who have never before visited your house but are coming by tonight: This house is old... very, very old. It will never be perfect, and you know that you like it that way, so embrace it! No, all the pictures still haven't been hung, nor has all the furniture been purchased, nor have all the books been shelved (because we need more shelves). Like life, this home is a work in progress. ...more

The Snare of Perfectionism

Trends happen for a reason. The sudden spate of books and conferences exposing the myth of "the perfect mother" is a cultural admission that women feel a lot of pressure to both be mothers (you are less of a woman if you choose not to be a mother), and then to do that task "perfectly" however that is defined....more

On Perfectionism: Teaching My Son Not to Opt Out Due to Fear of Failure

I’m reading Dr. Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly right now, and oh. Boy. What a book. There is so much in it that I would love to write and talk about -- already, and I’m not even halfway through. But there is one topic she touches that I’ve thought about plenty, and that is perfectionism. I struggle with perfectionism, and as Brown rightly points out, perfectionism is NOT the same as striving for excellence; it’s almost the opposite....more
What a great post. I deal with this myself as well and I see it in one of my kids.more

Perfectionist? How's That Working For You?

photo from hairbrainedschemes on etsy (click on image to purchase)...more

Please Pass the Wabi Sabi

The above image is a traditional wabi sabi tea bowl, designed to have unique, "flawed" features.  ...more

Guilt and Self-Esteem

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could....more

Perfectionism, Procrastination, Expectations...

Eeee Gad...I lost a follower. I was so happy to have 75 now 74...oh well... Been a bit sick this week with a throat infection or something. Wake up every morning with frogs croaking in my throat and feeling pretty rotten for a few hours then better. Think it is a viral thing as no fever just throat stuff.  The theme on NaBloPoMo the past month has been about starting and finishing "stuff". Actually, I have not liked any of the prompts to write about this month, but thought I would explore starting and finishing in general, when dealing with me....more

The Gift of Imperfection

One of the things that has stuck with me from elementary school Social Studies - besides the rap about Andrew Jackson that my friend, Sara, and I wrote and performed for the class ("My name is JACKS-on from WAX-haw!") - is a little fact about a particular Native American tribe known for their intricately woven blankets. Apparently the master weavers would intentionally weave a mistake into each of their blankets so as not offend the gods by being "perfect"....more