So it's nearing the end

So I'm PMS-ing. Not the good kind - if there ever was any. Not the monthly kind that you know would come every month, or every other month depending on your cycle; not the one who will assure you that you can still bear children. Not that one. This is the permanent one. This year, I will turn 41. My mother hit her menopause by age 45, and so did her sisters. So unless I magically somehow found a man to impregnate me within the next year or so, I am 90% guaranteed to be (biological-) childless for the rest of my life. ...more

Why More And More Women Are Coveting Cannabis

Whoopi may be on to something.As you may recall, a few weeks back, everyone’s favourite former nun announced that she had launched a line of medical marijuana products. Even better, they’re targeted at menstrual cramps....more

Inside the Mind of a Mom Who Has PMS

I’m alone in the kitchen, making lunches.My face is sporting the expression commonly referred to as: Resting Bitch Face. Although, mine isn’t really resting; my forehead is in on the action, too. I am all scrunched up, like a pug. A confrontational (or perhaps constipated) pug.In the distance I can hear them. They’re calling my names:“BABE!”“MOMMY!”...more

The PMS Chronicles

7:40 a.m.: Send kids off with kisses and hugs for a week with their dad. 7:45 a.m.: Enjoy a delightfully quiet cup of coffee as I happily review my to do list and prepare to attack the mountain of mail and paperwork that used to be my desk. Ahhhhhhhh... I feel good. 9:52 a.m.: Flop down on sofa, stare blankly out the window, start to cry, quickly move on to full-blown bawling, curl up in fetal position as tears and snot soak the cushion. I feel sad. ...more

Hot Flashes Are Not Cool

It all started one cold January morning. I was sitting at my kitchen table. Furnace blasting. Swaddled in a big blanket. (I so dislike the cold. I do not retain heat. In fact unless I am under a blanket I pretty much shiver till spring arrives. I consider it my cardio in the winter!) I was nice and cozy, reading the paper when it hit! Suddenly I'm immediately...more

This Chick Is Gonna Go PMS Crazy All Up In Here

Purchasing a box of tampons and 5 chocolate candy bars will get you pretty fast service at the checkout counter. No words were exchanged as the items were laid on the counter. The clerk quickly (and I might add a little nervously) scanned the items. I think she was thinking "this chick is gonna go PMS crazy all up in here". It didn't dawn on me until I was outside the irony of my purchase....more

April 20th 1993 – Depths of Despair

Well, let me see whats new in the exciting life of me! Oh, the adventures are too numerous, too wild, too detailed, to express in their full intensity and potential on paper. Ah, anyway! Well yesterday I was in the depths of despair! Why? Oh who knows! PMS maybe, probably, most likely. I went to Karate – on the way there something went SNAP! Like walking through the woods and stepping on a stick! My priorities clicked into place! My brain shifted into the ready position, a smile arose on my face, my fingernails grew, my body relaxed and there I was!...more

Here is to a Day Full of Laughs, Pistachios, Normal Hormone Levels and Great Sex

Yesterday happened to be one of those days that started off shitty thanks to the total "I could so easily rip your head off" mood I woke up in.  Thank you so much PMS and the stuck on repeat, seems to be never-ending menstrual cycle I now have.  Have I mentioned how much I am so enjoying getting older?  My 30-something self has become a battle of wills.  Me against the machine.  The machine being age, my body, hormones.  I am pretty sure my face now breaks out more than it did when I was a teenage girl....more

That Old-Fashioned Hysteria!

I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather lately, both emotionally and physically, so I went back to one of my comfort books – Ami MacKay’s “The Birth House”. Now, I’m not really a natural birth advocate at all, but I love this book because of its mysticism. I also love this book because it talks about turn-of-the-century treatment of women, including the much-diagnosed “condition”, hysteria....more