The Moments I Realized I Was Definitely A Mom

That first moment that I clearly remember was when my oldest was born and we were spending our first nights in the hospital post c-section. He needed a diaper change so I placed him ever-so-gently on my bed between my legs and gathered the required materials. His tiny little toes, his cute little bum, ah, it was just perfection. And then I undid his diaper, readied a wipe, and began to clean the cutest little bum… ...and he pooped on my hand. And not just any poop… that first poop. The one they warn you about. ...more
It's always about poop isn't it?!more

I'm a Closet Pooper

I have a huge confession to make. I can’t poop when anyone is around. For some reason, I completely freeze up and my shooter shuts down. I call it the emergency shit switch. It’s like a catastrophic event when I need to poop and there are people nearby. The switch gets flipped and shit just stops. Literally....more
Haha!  I am with your husband and we have an open door policy in this house for the most part ...more

The Epic Battle: Mother Nature vs. My Bowels

I'm not gonna lie to you. This weather is effecting my bowels. Now before you go running for the little X up there in the right corner, I promise I'm not going to get all graphic and actually DESCRIBE what's going on with my bowels. But I am going to say this: since the beginning of this awful 'Polar Vortex' crap, my crap isn't what it used to be.Case in point: I'm a regular girl, very regular. Like, 'every single morning at 8:30' regular.  Even on the weekends, when I sleep a little later, I'm still fairly regular. Here's how my schedule works:...more
Not at all, Caroline! I'm glad you were entertaining while dumping! :)more

Pet Etiquette Guide: Scoop the Poop

Keeping pet waste off the ground is an important responsibility held by all pet owners. If not addressed, the presence of unattended to waste can quickly become a major point of conflict amongst neighbors....more

Of Poo and Couches

Glory! Glory alleluia! Baby Spock dropped a deuce! She did this voluntarily. And by “voluntarily” I mean she issued demands and when they were met she released the hostages. Her primary demand was to be put back into a diaper for (her) convenience. I didn’t care. As long as she made with the boom-boom I would have let her use the front yard had she been so inclined....more

Murphy's Law of Parenthood Strikes in the Grocery Store

It's Murphy's Law of Parenthood: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong when you're least prepared. We went grocery shopping last night after dinner. It's always fun to take Danny along shopping as he loves to grab whatever is within his reach and throw it in the cart, on the floor or even in someone else's cart. He thinks he's helping mommy. I was two aisles away from the baby aisle when I first smelled disaster: It was a fresh, familiar odor that I've tackled single-handedly many times over. And of course, we have a poomergency and the diaper bag is a quarter mile away in the backseat of a parked car (thank you Murphy's Law!)....more
@BusyMama82 Haha! Motherhood sure is glorious, isn't it?more

Poopmageddon 2012

Though we've been here for a few weeks now, I'm still adjusting to our new way of life, where mosquitoes grow to the size of rabid raccoons and pizza delivery is this cool thing that city folk do. On a few occasions, our pugs have ventured to the bordering farmer's field adjacent to the property. One evening a few days ago, I shared my concerns with my husband Dan, that the farmer next door would shoot one of the dogs wandering on his property. His response: "Jen, we're in southern New Jersey. It's 2012. No one is going to shoot the dogs."...more

5 Bedrooms, 4 Baths and a Poop Log

I knew it wouldn’t be easy of selling a house and keeping it “show ready” with a bunch of kids and dog, but I thought I was prepared for the chaos. I was sure I could handle the last minute frantic-cleaning and be able to leave the house spotless each time we had a showing. Apparently, I had no idea what I signed up for…Thursday was quite a doozy, so I did what I often do when I’m at my breaking point. I called a friend to commiserate. Being a good friend, she told me a story that made me laugh and put my bad day into perspective. It ended with a log of poop....more

Poop Identifier and Used RV Shopping

I wrote this on the way to check out a new camper in Kenosha today. We weren't smitten with it, it was pretty much a larger version version of our class a that only has one payment left.  I guess I could have been talked into it, but I wasn't sold. It was dirty inside and I saw rust outside. ...more
 @victorias_view we bought from him before!  (shudders)more

The glamorous life

Today I shall write about the joy and wonder of shit. Or, more accurately, the inability of Lilo & Stitch to produce it like a normal human being when they were younger.So feel free to run screaming now....more