Now while I'm a big believer in God, and I feel His work must be perfect and holy and righteous and all that nonsense, I can't help but sometimes think, "You know what, Pal? I could have planned this shit a hell of a lot better than You. No offense, Jesus."Let's think this through for a second....more
I thought when potty training came into play that I was pretty well prepared. I always have spare clothes, wet wipes, toilet paper and a port-a-potty with me. I’ve even taken the potty to the pool and football games. Who cares about crappy looks from other people (like that play on words here) but they obviously never potty trained twins. Anyway what I didn’t realize was what I was going to do when they had to go at the same time....more
(as posted on http://southernfriedchildren.blogspot.com)
There is something about having a kid that makes a parent want to talk about poop. Size, color, consistency, volume, frequency - it's all up for discussion. It consumes us when they're newborns (in fact, the hospital required me to keep a log of baby's bowel movements. A log.), and toilet training inspires us to post updates in the most public of forums. How many Facebook statuses have I seen regarding someone's kid pooping in the potty? Too many.
It is the primary source for preschool humor, and a strange object of pride....more
Well my girls are finally potty trained and I figured all would be right with the world until I realized how difficult teaching to wipe a poopy butt would be. EWWWW Seriously could someone please write a book to prepare us weak stomached Mothers about all this nastiness? I thought I was lucky when I heard the many horror stories of kids that poop in the tub and with twins we made it almost 3 years with only one accident. That was nasty to clean up. Sorry hubby that I left it for you!....read the rest at www.new2two.com please:) ...more
My posts contain adult themes (my husband is secretly trying to kill me) and bad language.Even my baby talks about sex, bribery and extortion so not only am I the Worst Mommy Blogger, I'm the Worst Mom. Aim high!...more
We've really taken to calling baby girl, "Button." After all, she is as cute as a button!
And this little button has been busy!
She has been charming everyone at the hospital. Not just her Mom-Mom, but other patients, the staff, and other visitors. It's pretty tough being a cute button! You are always on stage! :) But my little button, she knows how to work the crowd! Just put on a tutu and an adorable onesie, and you are good to go. So what does the Button do when she is not performing?
She poops. In the car seat....more
This is my husband's charming advice to his friends when they announce they are expecting. Nice, right? He follows it up with, "Get ready...I didn't mean that metaphorically." Sigh. Way to initiate them into the parents' club, dear! What I'd like to tell our friends who are expecting: *Everyone is going to tell you how much this baby will change your life. You'll hear that so many times by the end of your pregnancy, you will be sick of hearing it....more
There are a lot of things to hate (and to love) about parenting. I could go on all day about giving up my independence, losing my freedom, hanging onto my identity with the skin of my teeth, but the important thing to remember is that these things are all passing. They are as fleeting, in fact, as the five things I'm about to list here...the five petty things I hate about parenting at this very moment.Read More:...more
One of my daughters hasn’t pooped in two days.I’ve been trying to think of an interesting blog topic for everyone today, and I can’t because over and over in my mind I hear myself worrying. I hear the same sentence.One of my daughters hasn’t pooped in two days.First, this can’t be good for her little intestines. She’s acting normal and happy, running around, playing, and yet, she must be full up.Read More: ...more