I Nominate Myself For The Worst Mommy Blogger Ever

My posts contain adult themes (my husband is secretly trying to kill me) and bad language.Even my baby talks about sex, bribery and extortion so not only am I the Worst Mommy Blogger, I'm the Worst Mom. Aim high!...more
@southmainmuse Uh oh! If I don't get an F, I can't be the Worst Mommy Blogger anymore. Say it ...more

Where does it all come from?

We've really taken to calling baby girl, "Button." After all, she is as cute as a button! And this little button has been busy! She has been charming everyone at the hospital. Not just her Mom-Mom, but other patients, the staff, and other visitors. It's pretty tough being a cute button! You are always on stage! :) But my little button, she knows how to work the crowd! Just put on a tutu and an adorable onesie, and you are good to go. So what does the Button do when she is not performing? She poops. In the car seat....more

"You're going to get SH*T on!"

This is my husband's charming advice to his friends when they announce they are expecting.  Nice, right?  He follows it up with, "Get ready...I didn't mean that metaphorically." Sigh.  Way to initiate them into the parents' club, dear! What I'd like to tell our friends who are expecting: *Everyone is going to tell you how much this baby will change your life.  You'll hear that so many times by the end of your pregnancy, you will be sick of hearing it....more

So true! I can't believe I didn't put it on the list! :) Clearly I need to do more of that ...more

Five Petty Things to Hate about Parenting

There are a lot of things to hate (and to love) about parenting. I could go on all day about giving up my independence, losing my freedom, hanging onto my identity with the skin of my teeth, but the important thing to remember is that these things are all passing. They are as fleeting, in fact, as the five things I'm about to list here...the five petty things I hate about parenting at this very moment.Read More:...more

My favorite recipe so far!

http://reesimplelife.wordpress.com/...more

We're All Stopped Up

One of my daughters hasn’t pooped in two days.I’ve been trying to think of an interesting blog topic for everyone today, and I can’t because over and over in my mind I hear myself worrying. I hear the same sentence.One of my daughters hasn’t pooped in two days.First, this can’t be good for her little intestines. She’s acting normal and happy, running around, playing, and yet, she must be full up.Read More: ...more

Toddler Tricks - 25

Ways to Trick your Baby:Problem:  Congratulations!  Your child is pooping in the potty!  What could possibly be the problem there?  Well, I don't know about you, but after years of wiping the stuff, cleaning the stuff, and otherwise handling it, I find nothing more gross than carrying it from the chamber pot to the actual toilet to flush.  And, sometimes, it sticks.  It sticks.  It's something that just turns my stomach, and I don't know why, but I hate it.Solution:  This is pure common sense, and I'm sure almost everyone but me must h...more

It is just a little poop

Why is it that my husband can handle a crisis situation at work. He can manage a school full of kids better than anyone I know. He can get these children to cooperate, put their toys away, etc...but when it comes to his own children he is a WIMP! Let me start off by saying that my husband and I met while working at a juvenile detention center. These boys were criminals, serious criminals, and we would manage a dorm full of them. The kids were there for things like sex crimes, gang related crimes (including shooting/murder), drugs - you get the point....more

Make Sure You Know Who Your Charity Really Is

It is once again that time of year when philanthropy and shopping occur at a fever pitch. Securing deductions for the end of the tax year and holiday shopping help charities fund their programs for the year to come. Outright donations, shopping at our marketplaces, or simply making a donation in someone's name all help your spcaLA. It is also important to research and donate wisely. Nothing upsets all of us more than hearing a person say "I gave to your national office" when, in fact, there is no such thing....more

Poop and Goats

I’m in the mood for sharing some fun and favorite things about my little maniac as of late!   One morning while we were getting ready for work, our lovely cat puked on the bathroom floor.  We were rushing around, unable to attend to it right away.  Parker came toddling in, pointed straight at the cat puke in an accusatory manner, shouted, “Ook!”    “Yes, yucky!  Don’t touch!  Dobby threw up!”  We shouted.   Parker looked at us, “Poop sneeze!”   Yes.  Poop sneeze. &n...more