PTSD is...

Memories that won't stay in the past where they belong A 'fight-or-flight' response that is always switched on Wanting to trust others but finding yourself unable Needing to seek treatment but being unable to convince yourself that you'll be safe without PTSD Walking away from the ones you love because they keep triggering you ...more

A Thousand Deaths

I lay in the shower, drops patterning across my face as the sedatives start to work their magic. No matter the distance, you couldn't be further from me than you are now. I've gotten used to it for the most part, but that night, the wound was ripped open again. Just like that, I found myself unable to stem the flood of memories made in your name. Though thoroughly dysfunctional, it was the only non-abusive relationship I've ever had. With both of us having PTSD, we never really had a chance. I never had any illusions about that. I loved you with everything I had but love isn't enough....more

The Paradox of Living with TBI and PTSD: Why Telling Your Story is So Important

Living with TBI and PTSD is a constant challenge for caregivers because people don’t like to talk about the day to day reality of living with TBI and PTSD. I am not good at updating my own blog. I have a lot to say, but over the years I have learned not to say it out loud. Most of it is too personal, too raw, and too easy to misunderstand....more

Why I am Obsessed With Understanding PTSD in Veterans

When BlogHer asked me to write a first hand account of what it was like to produce a video about PTSD in Veterans, I was apprehensive about it.  To be honest, I still am.  I am not a Veteran, nor is anyone in my immediate family. But I am extremely passionate about the subject of PTSD in general because I’m close to a few who are suffering from it due to physical and sexual abuse they have suffered long ago.  So, when I started doing research on PTSD in Veterans, I immediately saw the parallels that can be drawn to people suffering with PTSD who are not veterans....more
Thank you for researching this. I met two Marines at my old job who'd been deployed to Iraq and ...more

Bounce Forward, Not Back

Michaela Haas introduced me to the science of posttraumatic growth in her book Bouncing Forward: Transforming Bad Breaks into Breakthroughs. In it, she interviews twelve people who have experienced this including Maya Angelou and Temple Grandin.Haas has been a practicing Buddhist for twenty years, and those teachings are apparent. But she also turns to medical and psychological experts for scientific validation....more

Weary, but...

I had a great talk with one of my mentors today--about what it's like on the other side, getting away from our abuser, but still having to co-parent with him.  She is a seasoned veteran handling complex cases where children are witness (or victims) to violent crimes.  Her stories make mine seem like an after school movie, rated a-ok for public viewership, and at the same time, she has said that every story has meaning and power, and the abuse was escalating.  I told her that sometimes everything is a-ok, I'm confident, strong--zen warrior pants planted firmly on and waging th...more

Does Time Heal All Wounds?

Some people say that if you wait and you’re patient, you can recover from anything. There’s that old adage that time heals all wounds. But sometimes I do wonder about the truth in that statement. Does time heal all wounds? ...more

Fragile Things

At some point everything becomes clear. That doesn’t necessarily mean a good clear, but fact is preferred over fiction when you’re locked up in a mental ward. Again. And it’s snowing out–and worse–it’s New Year’s Eve and you’re thirtieth birthday is coming and you’re little girl must be looking for you. It’s all you can do to decipher the shell-shocked woman looking back at you in the tin mirror bolted to the wall above your sink....more

A New Year, A New Beginning

Happy New Year, gang! Can you believe the year we just did?...more

Wired Wrong?

Find the entire post at Shekhinah - The Grace of His Loving TouchBefore I set out to check on other bloggers, I wanted to share some thoughts.PTSD has affected my whole life, even before I began to experience it. My step-father was a Vietman Vet who came back with some very obvious signs of PTSD....more