Of Course You'll Love This Blog

Laurie:  I just yelled at my best friend who had open-heart surgery five days ago.  What on earth is wrong with me?    ...more

Something I don't get...

When on a walk with your dog, why would you bag up the dog's droppings and then just leave the bag?Really. That's the best thing for the environment? Leaving little plastic bags of dog poop on the grass where people walk and play.I just don't get it. You think to bring a bag. You think to pick it up. Then you stop thinking? ...more

Why Us? Why Now? Why Not?

Laurie Speaking:         Look at me, ma, I’m blogging! What the hell does that mean? And if I have no idea (and I don’t), why am I doing it? Because somewhere out there, some one is dying to get my warped opinion on something. I can feel it in the air. And because elizabeth (not a typo – she thinks she’s e.e. ...more

Who wants to read the good stuff?

I would not be so quick to frequent a blog that only talked about how perfect the kids were, how well mom cooked from scratch, how clean and beautiful the house is, how unfrazzled she is at the end of the day…Sure, I like those stories, but if I have a bad day, or am making dinner from a box or cleaning the crayon from my entire floor, or changing the 3rd blowout of the day, or ready to pull my hair out for a variety of reasons, those posts just will NOT make me feel better. I need the kids in bed, a cup of tea (or glass of wine) and a calm mind to dig into those beauties… ...more

It's My Blog and I'll Cry If I Want To

Nobody likes a whiner, but nothing gets my whiny engine roaring faster than bearing witness to the unfairness of life. "Living in the Moment" was never my thing and I blame my mother for that (that's right, I'm a victim - see? I'm already whining.). She raised me to consider the consequences of my actions. And now I suffer because of it. ...more

Culture, Schmulture, Where's the Can?

Anybody who uses "Sacramento" and "Culture" in the same sentence is lying. Not only have I personally witnessed Sacramento citizens' lack of support of the arts (I give you Bodies Revealed), but I have also been a victim of its steadfast squashing of any hope to stir up interest in such matters. Why, just recently, I was visiting an art gallery and (read the rest ) ...more

I'll Take "Weeks" for Ten Thousand, Bob

Today's blog is brought to you by the word: timeshare. For those of you who don't know what a timeshare is, here's a brief primer, which some people pronounce "primmer" - why is that? First an advertisement appears before you as if by relentless and incessant ALLCAPS magic for a FREE TV, or a FREE DINNER CRUISE, or something else that turns out to be CRAPPY, but it's free. All you have to do is... ( read the rest ) ...more

Hide The Clarinet Player!

Memorial Day Weekend in Sacramento brings the biggest (their words, not mine) jazz festival in the west. That's right, when we are not busy making names for ourselves trying to yank "under God" out of our daily pledge to the flag, we bring together the world's best jazz bands to Old Sac (not Old Town, you Pasadenians) and its nearby environs. And in celebration of this musical extravaganza, do you know what I do? That's right, I stay the hell away from it because my God, the crowds. ...more

May The Peace Be With You, Luke

You know those people who say "I can watch such and such a movie over and over because I see something new everytime"? Do you know why they see something new every time? I will tell you why. It is because they can't keep their big trap shut during the movie. ...more

Make My Day.

Stealing base Since my purse has gone missing and I have heard nothing about it in weeks, I was comfortable with the idea my purse had somehow been rapture up. And then my bank called. Some heifer stole my damn purse! This heifer stole my stuff and is now wandering around Raleigh writing checks. Big checks . She’s been to Staples and Zales and Kohl's, and Kroger and Harris Teeter. This heifer is a real shopaholic. I called one of the grocery stores she has been frequenting and told them about her. They were shocked. I told them the next time Faux Me comes in, that they call the police and then they should tell her she won a million dollars, take her into a back room and beat her to death. I was not joking about that. I was joking when I told them to call the police. ...more